indian, honky, chinese, english whispers

secondhand information is so twisted.

there was a fight at school today between a teacher and a student.

it's a case of chinese whispers for me.

first story i heard: [in intro calc]
mr. watermelon got into a fight with a year nine kid and lost!! the kid had him in a headlock! mr watermelon got OWNED man. you should've seen it!

second story i heard: [on the way to chem]
mr. watermelon was fighting with that emo kid in year nine on the oval. cause mr. watermelon took the guy's ball and the guy got pissed off, so he wanted to fight mr. watermelon. but mr. watermelon got the kid in a headlock and the guy couldn't get free. and then mr. watermelon let go and the kid charged at him so mr. watermelon blocked the punch. but the kid kept charging so he mashed his face into mr watermelon's hand. the guy was bleeding all over. and then he spat at mr. watermelon, but he missed.

third story i heard: [still on the way to chem]
as above, but this time, mr watermelon said "now, i don't want to hurt you..."
later, mr watermelon was seen taking off his outer shirt and it had blood on it. the blood did not belong to him.

fourth story i heard: [from the year 8s]
these two guys were fighting, and mr watermelon tried to break them up. but jimmy got pissed off and he started fighting with mr watermelon. he had mr watermelon in a headlock, and mr watermelon was turning blue!! yeah, the kid is in year 8, and he's a lot smaller than mr watermelon. then he let go and mr watermelon started hitting him, and jimmy bit his tongue and started spitting blood at mr watermelon. and mr watermelon fully got bashed up by jimmy.
jimmy might have family problems cause the last few days he's been real quiet and maybe that's why he got so angry today. and if mr orange had been there, he would've won. he's so strong he can do push ups with someone on his back with one hand. mr watermelon got beat up by a 13 year old, and he's 46!! HAHAH!! what time is it? shit, we better get home aye.

fifth story i heard:
these two kids were fighting and mr watermelon broke them up, but one of them started fighting him, so he just defended himself by putting the boy into a headlock. then the boy inflicted injury on himself when he tried to punch mr watermelon but was so uncoordinated he punched himself in the face instead. that's why there was blood on mr watermelon's shirt. then the boy started spitting at mr watermelon, but again, he was so unco he missed mr watermelon.
mr watermelon for the win!!


see what i mean about secondhand information?

personally, i think the fifth story is the most coherent, and it's actually what i believed to have happened in the first place. but the fourth story has that teenage angst and conflict that gives it a bit of an edge. and i don't believe the midget year 8 won the fight. mebbe because mr watermelon is a teacher of mine. sigh, he was wearing a white rusty shirt today, i think. now it's all bloody.

but i cracked up when i heard the "now, i don't want to hurt you..." part.

and no, the teachers are not REALLY named fruits.