shock horror

i couldn't do this yesterday. i started to blog..... but then.... you know how sometimes you're doing homework and you just fall asleep? no? fine, that's what it was sort of like. only i didn't fall asleep, i went off to watch Numbers on channel 10.

what was the point of the doing homework and falling asleep analogy?

anyway, yesterday, i was soooo freaking tired. rargh! comes from standing around and scooping ice-cream for six hours. to be fair, i had a half hour break in between which i spent stuffing my face with a late lunch and browsing through [what i felt was] a terribly inadequate bookstore.

the work wasn't all that bad - it wasn't toooo busy [unexpected considering it was a tuesday]. the thing is, i had to work with pregnant-goldfish guy. sorry, dude, i'm forever gonna connect you with pregnant goldfish. it's your own fault ok? btw, this is the guy who told me that 'twit' means pregnant goldfish. it's something that i am yet to verify.

anyway [and you're gonna have to have the logic of a 3 year old to follow this next part] something funny happened. we were on the first shifts of the day so he asked me "do you know who's working later?" and i said "no". and he goes..
"you know Apple*?"
"which one?"
"the one you always work with."
"uh huh."
"she scares me."
"how come?"
"cause she's always grumpy. i don't like working with her"
"=.="
"she never smiles, and she always looks grumpy when she works."
--then [and this is the funny part] he does an impersonation of apple*. her face is always set in this certain way, so he copies it and starts swaggering around--
then he continues "and Banana* scares me too." at this point i laugh really hard, cause not only is banana a really nice girl, she's also way way way smaller [and smarter, might i add] than pregnant-goldfish.
"are you serious? how come?"
"cause she's always doing this [jumps around on the spot] for no reason."
"so? that's cause she's happy."
"and you scare me cause you laugh too much."

at that moment, Banana walks in for her shift.
"noooooo."
later... boss says to me "ey, you can go for your break when Apple* comes in for her shift"
i start laghing cause pregnant goldfish has a look of absolute horror on his face. he has to work with the three people that scare him most. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

and the worst thing was, when Apple* came in, i started laughing everytime i looked at her cause my mind kept throwing up the picture of pregnant goldfish impersonating her. >.<

and after he finished his shift and left, this adorable little girl came up to the counter. me and banana were gushing at how cute she was while she was talking to the boss. and then she left. the boss turns around and tells us "that was pregnant-goldfish's sister, looking for him." -_______- me and banana were both thinking "how the hell can something so cute be related to something so... fishy". and, no, the boss did not actually call him pregnant goldfish.

but the scariest thing that happened was....... I SAW ARSEWIPE.

no, really, i shit you not. HE WAS THERE. i came out of the little kitchen at the back [you know, i don't understand why they don't just call me 'dishpig'] and i saw this guy walking away with his little kid brother in tow. i looked at the back of that ugly head and thought "HAHAHA. doesn't that look like arsewipe" then he comes back to check if his waffles are done [thank God i didn't take his order] and i realized "freaking hell. that IS arsewipe." of course, i just continued my work, wiping down the counter.. with my back turned to him.

sarah, he's even skinnier when he's out of school uniform. a bit more awkward looking too. the kid brother's a little hyperactive, though, i would think. or maybe he was just really, REALLY hungry.

we have to write little descriptions of customers on the orders so that we know what to give who. one such description was 'stripe boy' so when the order was done, i started looking for 'stripe boy'. couldn't find him so i asked banana. she couldn't find him either. i mean, how hard could it be to spot an eight year old boy wearing a striped shirt, right? bloody hard when he doesn't exist, i tell you, cause then 'stripe boy' comes to claim his food... and he's not 'stripe boy' at all. he's bloody full-grown 'stripe man'!! ok, so he exists, but he's certainly not a kid. i promise you, 'stripe boy' was the boss's description.

i died at 10.30 last night, which is why i could wake up at 8.30 this morning after a good 10 hrs of sleep. usually, i sleep after midnight and wake up around 10. later, if nobody drags me out of bed. this is a problem, especially on sundays cause now church starts an 9.30!!!! argh. part of the reason i slept so early was cause me feet were killing me. i wore my lousy flat-soled shoes - in fact, what shoes? for all the good it did my feet. even my socks offered more padding and support.

i think i should go back to sleep, aye. sounds like i'm still in my cranky-morning state. i've only spoken one word since i woke up, which was 'hello' when the phone rang. the rest have all been grunts going like "ngh" or sometimes "mmh" for variation.

*names have been changed to protect the identity of those in question