baby reel

Mum pulled out a couple of old photo albums last night, and we stayed up a little late looking through them before bed.

MAN, was I cute as a baby.

...I looked like a boy, but you know, that's irrelevant.
Not very chinese looking either (my eyes took up half my face), which was a bit weird.
NEVERTHELESS, I was cute.


Fact of life #2298

Every child - with no exception - whose parents owned, and were capable of operating, some form of camera at the time of said child's birth,
will have a potty photo.

Definition: potty photo
YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS. DON'T LIE.

Fact of life #2299

No matter how cute your misshapen head was, how happy you looked, how adorable you were in those striped pyjamas, no child will ever want The Potty Photo to (dis)grace the eyes of anybody outside the family. Heck, never take it out if you can help it. Do not acknowledge its existence (even though everyone already knows). In fact, when mummy's not looking, burn it.

No kidding.
I, personally, do not have a Potty Photo. No such picture exists in my album. That's right, I am Potty-Free! Potty Photo? What is this Potty of which you speak? Pfft. What? Who said that. I just told you, I don't have one! STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT!


Final Remark:
The same rules apply to The Bath Photo.

why i don't think i will ever have fish again

i read rachelKJ's blog yesterday morning - the post about all her pets (WHOAH, she has a LOT) - and i started remembering all the pets that i've had.

we had lots of dogs, a few cats, and a couple of rabbits.

but i want to tell you about our fish.

we first got fish when i was seven or eight, and we had three of them. three african fish - two of which were a rich dark blue with bright, multi-coloured spots, and the third of which was a little pale pink, sardine shaped fish. they weren't very big, and fit into a little tank that sat in the living room with the piano and the settee we never used.

anyway, these fish slowly killed each other off. i kid you not. ironically, it was the smallest fish that emerged the winner in the end, but it died a few days later because it had somehow lost an eye.

we never bought that sort of fish again. instead, we bought blood parrots, which were so the craze in town at the time. my dad liked them a lot, but personally, i don't see the appeal in a puffy, fat looking fish with bulging eyes and the self-preservation capabilities of a doorknob...

...because they just kept dying off. we started with nine, and dad kept replacing the ones that died. at one point, we were down to two, and suddenly, the next day, there were six or seven of them in there again. and they all looked exactly the same. it was like nothing ever happened.

i used to have nightmares about them all the time. you're little, but old enough to deal with death. the death of a few goldfish doesn't really bother you. but at the same time, they all looked alike, and there's only so many times (to your little brain) that the same fish can die -____-.

little girl fancies

am currently stuck on my G&T EPW on vectors so i am opting for the ever available, ever welcoming vice of procrastination.

vice (noun)
1) evil, esp. grossly immoral, habit or conduct;
2) bad habit;
3) particular form of depravity;
4) defect, blemish.

PROCRASTINATION IS WRONG!! i am an example of what procrastination can do to you. my previous G&T EPW was a totaly fail [8/24 anybody?], and if you're big on achieving high, procrastinating is not a good way to go. learn by example, preferably other people's.

so i was trying to figure out how i got an equation so perfect that it totally cancels out on both sides and i essentially have nothing left to work with...

-a + b = -ha + ha + b - a -kb +kb

when *deng deng deng* i spaced out. and i suddenly remember something totally random.

it was a little classroom incident from when i was in kindergarten. we all know that little kids can be very honest [*coughuntactfulcough*] and very, very shameless, right? well, when i was 5 or 6, there was this boy in my class that a lot of girls liked [to this day i do not understand why]. it just happened that he was a good friend of mine [the kind where your mother knows his mother and sometimes you go over to their house and play with the really noisy remote control car and eat all their food].

for illustration purposes, let's call the boy bob tan ki bum.

anyway, bob was apparently the hot stuff in our class, and probably his most notable admirer was this girl called ana. she had a cousin called abbie, also in our class [she probably liked him too, i forget]. anyway, ana and i didn't always get along because, well, it's self explanatory. i remember sometimes we were friends, and suddenly when bob comes along the good ol' "i don't friend you anymore" is pulled out.

but that's another story. just now, i remembered there was once the teacher left the classroom for a little while and what was a subdued bunch of children suddenly became a pack of rabid demons. in the midst of all this, ana suddenly got up onto one of the tables and yelled for everyone to be quiet.

then she screamed at us "BOB TAN KI BUM IS THE SMARTEST AND HANDSOMEST BOY IN THIS CLASS" and she turned slowly around the classroom, looking down on us and waggling her finger as if daring us to oppose her. there was a short silence, like everyone was too stunned to speak for a while.

then we all went rabid again.

because we have attention spans of about three seconds.

i do not think she would like to be reminded of this incident XD.

april's fools

APRIL'S FOOL!!

i was supposed to be born on this day 15 years ago. imagine how totally horrific it would've been if i had. IMAGINE HAVING APRIL 1ST AS A BIRTHDATE. the "presents" you would get. i know i for one would love to give someone a "present" on april fools.

good thing i was overdue.

moving on. i haven't actually done anything to anybody today. i haven't planned to. which is unlike me. granted, playing tricks on people is something i do on an almost daily basis, but it's different on April's fools.

i remember there was one year when i put toothpaste on the toilet seat. it was intended for the sister, but the mother sat on it first. good thing the mother was half asleep and dismissed it. but the sister noticed that there was something wrong with the seat. then the kim nearly got strangled.

another year, i decided that it would be fun to put water on all my friends' chairs. that was funny. about the same funny as watching someone yelp after they've sat on those butt traps you put on their chairs. you know, the ones that you make with staples and leave the pointy bit up. yeah, those. [sorry, jon. i know it's a sore point]

this isn't to say that i haven't been owned either. one year, i sat between these two dudes who are constantly pushed around by me. on april's fools day that year, i sat down as usual and they both looked at me. i was like "whadda....." and then they start laughing. i smacked them and stood up, or tried to. my butt came up but the skirt remained on the chair. i smacked them again. the assholes put UHU glue on my chair. the really sticky kind that dries fast and leaves white marks. i had to peel the back of my skirt off the chair. and walk around with white marks on it the rest of the day.

poor kakak, she had to wash the skirt.

my friends are pretty naughty too. the girls, this time. a couple of them went around that day telling some of the guys that they've had crushes on them since forever. the smarter ones just said "bullshit" and walked away. but a few of them actually believed it!! that was HILARIOUS. it was cruel, but funny watching the guys squirm and stuff. good thing none of them went "ohmigosh. really? i feel the same way" that would've been so embarrassing.

we're a bunch of april's fools. i don't know if i'm gonna do anything this year. amy was thinking of a pail of water on the door so that when someone came in the water splashed on the blablabla. the last time i tried that [with a book] my auntie walked in and it hit her on the head. good thing her son was in on it as well, so he got majority of the blame.

ah~ april's a rocking month.