Lost

He is trapped under a big rock.

He knows how heavy it is - he'd brought it down on himself. He knows it is impossible to lift, and he does not have the strength for it anyway. For a moment, he sees his future and it makes him cry out. It isn't the lack of purpose or the lack of promise, but the lack of time.

He's never prayed. Prayer is for those who aren't strong enough to help themselves.

But the rock is still there, and he knows with certainty that it is not going to move itself. He prays now. He pleads; asking God to get him out of this. Begging to be saved.

And suddenly, he realizes that he is underwater. He is underwater and there is an effing big rock on his back.

Desperation, coupled with the anxiety of knowing what is to come gives meaning to an emotion he recognizes as fear. Not fear of death, but fear of retribution.

It becomes clear to him that God is not going to answer his prayer.

And then he sees. Time stands still as he finally realizes that life was never what he thought it was. He had valued everything that counted within the lines; but his measurements had been wrong.

He did not ask for forgiveness. He did not deserve it.

His last words as the water filled the gaps were directed at God.

Please. At least take care of the kids.




[edit] i just read the hell weird story on cheng loon's blog and i have to say that i now feel that there is a trend for the macabre in today's youth. i mean, look at the ones on andrew's blog. this one's nothing compared to those.

overdue

harry: WHAT THE HELL IS A KID? you had a baby or you got a goat??

PICTURES!!!


this, is Dog.

yup, i got a dog. black pure bred standard poodle, ten weeks old, male. damn smart. smarter than me and sam put together [which isn't very smart].

of course, i had him for a total of three days and one hour before my mother gave him away.
one fine morning she said "i don't think we're ready for a dog. let's give him away."
by afternoon it was "we're giving him away to Mei."
by evening it was "bye Dog"

i also have pics from esther's b'day last year. WAAAAY late, but... they're pics.



the pirate, the wushu master, the basketball player, and the scientist.


but get a load of this mugger/veryangrysimpsonsfan. it's so obviously richard.


the birthday girl looking pretty in a kimono.


the jono.

tiffany cheated by wearing her school uniform [ok, we gave her the idea first. but hey, we made the effort]

also have pics from the Dinner Dance last year.

some of the guys. çan't believe jia duo [red sweatshirt] got away with wearing that.


some of the girls. they all looked good la. L-R: may, amrith, preet, clarissa, jia, putri, dayana. ee wah is the one in front.


the girls getting ready. i was already done. pull on the dress, let sarah play with my face and hair. that's it.


will and nicole. the cute couple. holding hands.

me and amrith, then with casper the turtle.

i gotta go to work.

i just ate a crepe

it was 5:37 [and 41 seconds] this morning, and it's 5:37 [and 41 seconds] now. either time is moving slower or i am moving faster.

OR... my watch has stopped.

i'm so sad. i like my watch. i don't know if it's the battery or if there's something wrong with it. it's not even old. ok, so i've put some scratches on it, but you can only see them if you bring it right up to your face and squint really hard.

i have found a new friend in Channel 7. no, channel 9, i no longer see what you see, and channel ten, seriously? when it comes to the good stuff, the really important stuff, it's CHANNEL 7 ALL THE WAY. at least for these couple of weeks XD.

i am, of course, referring to the tennis. the Australian open is on and Channel 7 has suddenly become my best friend. even during the week leading up to it, this station televised matches from the Medibank Sydney International and the Kooyong Classic [in which RODDICK TOTALLY WHIPPED FEDERER ASS SOSUCKONTHAT!!!]


look! he's a fish.

it's not that i dislike federer.
i just really like roddick. even though some of the things he tries to do are damn stupid la [e.g. the second between the legs shot he attempted once just cause he thought he could]

and it's just nice seeing someone who plays as perfectly [and he plays perfectly] as federer lose.

call me a sadist...


... but this was priceless.

yes, channel 7 is my best friend.

images courtesy of eurosport.com

harry: i just re-read the list of requirements on two guys. it's bloody stupid, hor. no way is any guy that perfect XD. sorry i didn't get those candles. was thinking it's time you graduated from candles and lime green onto something else...... which i am yet to buy for you. but according to my secret and reliable [questionable] sources, you're coming back soon [if not already] so i shall hasten to get you the whatever.

finny: THERÉ IS NO TYPO!! oh wait. i just found it. "he cracked up and couldn't sport". what the hell does that mean? ok, it's supposed to be stop. but hey, no spelling mistakes. found out your TERs from... my secret and reliable[questionable] sources *coughcarriecough*. oh, and i still remember how proud you were when you came up with kimmyting... as well as how long it took me to understand the stupid pun. and i'm blogging more than you! you owe me, finny, you owe me big time! [btw, i still haven't tried the kebab place near wesley yet].

chengspaceloon: streamyx is better than dial-up is better than NOTHING. at least you have refuge in Borders and Kino, ok? i have Gelaré. woot! got the little ascii thing on top of the E. is it called and ascii? what's an ascii?

the boss has told me MORE stories about her children. [seriously, crosby, you wouldn't be able to tell looking at you now]. so other than work, my life has been filled with a misture of instant noodles and annoying girls on TV who can't seem to work out their love life. HEY, at least you have a love life to speak of! look at poor Harry XD [although this is disputable now that recent developments have... developed].

the most exciting thing that has happened to me over the last few days has been trying the terriyaki fish at the jap stall in the food court. it's not bad, but waaaaaaaay too small. totally not enough. i mean, i finished in under 15 minutes and you all KNOW how slowly i eat.

time for lunch. and then on to the waffles, the ice-cream, and last but definitely BEST OF ALL...

the dishes.

THERE! YOU HAPPY FINNY?!?!

ahem.

i know it's a bit late, but merry christmas and happy new year to everyone in perth, and back in miri [and the family in sibu as well]!!

three weeks of holidays left and then i have to go back to school and start good ol' year 11. oh joy. i have to say, though, that my last school report wasn't too shabby. it was better than i expected. i told my dad that the only B on my report was for sport, and he cracked up and couldn't sport. ouch. even sam did better than me.

i fell like i have to do that thing that everyone does at the end of each year. summarizing the good, the bad, and the downright ugly and then wishing for the best for the year ahead.

but i've just realized that i have around 160 posts over the last one year + 3.5 months, so i think you guys have seen enough of my life. except over the last 6 months where the blog has been... well, virtually dead.

congrats to all you geniuses out there on your TEE. nobody i know has gotten a bad score. yes, yes, even you wesleyans came out pretty good XD.

work has been filling up my life for the last few weeks. i have to say, it hasn't been bad. the boss has been inundating me with embarrassing stories of her children as kids [sorry, crosby, but yours are freaking hilarious]. don't worry, i won't tell anyone.

oh man. just when i was starting to get into it...

work just called. have to go in now. sigh.