the most stupid thing i've done in a while

...after trying to close a ladder while standing underneath it.

went to watch I Am Legend, Beowulf and 1408 on friday night/saturday morning.
20 bucks for three movies was worth it, even if it did mean i didn't get to sleep the entire night.

kinda a dumb thing to do when you have to work at 7 o'clock the next morning tho.

anyway, moving on.

i thought this was a pretty good movie. we missed a bit of the start though, and i think that might have been rather important, but nevermind.

a virus that was supposed to be a cure for cancer ends up turning people into hairless blood-sucking creatures allergic to UV. (they never actually said "vampires" in the movie, but it sounds familiar, no?)

Will Smith is brilliant as Dr. Robert Neville, a scientist working to find a cure for this virus who is, as far as he knows, the last man on earth. with only his german shepherd - Samantha - and a bunch of mannequins at a video store for company, Neville struggles not only with finding a cure for the virus, but with his own frustrations and loneliness.

ok, there are obviously some plot holes, but it's generally a very entertaining movie; not too fast paced, funny, intense, and at times, rather heartbreaking. the shots of a jungle-esque Manhattan are really nice too.

but don't think. just don't think while you're watching the movie. don't ask why. just watch. and enjoy.

typical heroic ending tho, and thanks to a certain ABC i was spoiled about an hour before i went to watch it.
SPOILER: "he kamikaze-ed his ass". end of spoiler.

but you are reminded once again of just how fantastic an actor Will Smith is. what the movie lacks in plot and coherence, he makes up for in character. he makes an otherwise ordinary monster-filled action flick worth watching, especially if you haven't read the book (which i haven't).



this was interesting.

it's based on an old scandinavian tale about a man who kills a monster and becomes a king.
apparently.
i'm not really sure. i'm just regurgitating what my friend told me.

it's an animated flick, but ohmygoodness everything looks so real. everything. even angelina jolie looks real, albeit a little waxy. you get a few odd moments where you sorta think "real people don't quite scratch their backs like THAT", but otherwise, the animators did a great job (and the scenery is fantastic).

i quite liked it, but Beowulf (the character, played by Ray Winstone)... man, that guy has a seriously huge ego. Oedipus complex to the max. he's got an annoying "I am Beowulf, hear me roar" thing going on.
unlike I Am Legend, if you actually stop to think for a while, you realise that Beowulf is as much about human nature as it is about killing monsters. it explores particularly how vulnerable people are to greed and power... and also how useless men are in the face of angelina jolie.
it feels a little like the producers concentrated more on the animation than the characters, but there is a storyline that holds its own very well. and i think the only reason i liked it was because of that storyline. it's very english lit.

the only thing i sorta regret about this movie is that i didn't see it in 3D.

and beowulf needs to stuff a sock in it.
although to be fair, he does become a "changed man" towards the end of the movie.


the most unsatisfying of the three movies - and not just because it came after two good ones.
maybe a little bit because i was sleepy.

credit needs to be given to the first half tho, which was actually pretty good because it really was creepy and scary (that clock radio is the most disturbing unanimated object i have seen in a while).
it's creepy more because of the way it messes with the mind than with straight out horror. john cusack is good at the whole acting thing - one minute sceptical, the next totally freaked out; going crazy one moment, completely relieved the next.

it would have been a good movie had the vibe of first hour been kept up throughout. unfortunately, halfway through, it just gets stupid. it's as if the writers ran out of material, and just decided to pad it up with half-arsed scares. and the whole pretend-he-gets-out-when-he-really-doesn't-haha-ilaughatyou thing doesn't really work. everything after that point feels draggy and becomes a chore.

it was a little like I Am Legend in that one man show way, and John Cusack, to his credit, does really well. but the whole thing becomes sort of a joke to me after the first hour.

not bad if you want to be disturbed. but totally forgettable.


working a ten hour shift after a movie marathon takes it's toll, and i slept 14 hours straight from 7 o'clock last night. it was an accident. mom tried to wake me up around ten, apparently, but i didn't even stir. that sofabed can be pretty comfortable.

we haven't moved them yet.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

i'm dreaming of a white Christmas...

no, really.
40.3 degrees is ridiculous.

i will post a little more tomorrow.
right now, i need to sleep.

merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

one after ten

there is a weird smell coming from the corner of my room where the bed is. i can't figure out what it is, but it's not a particularly pleasant smell (unless you're into the whole decomposing cheese thing).

i think something died in here.

opened the window to let the smell out and now it's too cold.
i can never win, can i?


my day off is over and i am sad.
it passed so quickly.
i just want to bum at home all day.
and i still haven't worn colour yet.


forgive me for my incoherence. it's late, and the neighbours are screaming.
it feels like they have parties every other night.


freaking hell. seriously. what is that smell?

i feel so snobby right now ><

i met a guy from John Wollaston Anglican School a few weeks ago. don't worry, even he says nobody knows what that is. but anyway, he was telling me about how at his school, everyone works hard at the start of the year but gradually slacks off towards the end.

this is a good thing because it means that cut-off points for grades are lowered (i.e. if an A for physics is normally 80, it gets scaled down to 75 or something).

when he told me this, i laughed.

because where i go to school, the cut-off point for grades actually INCREASE as the year progresses.
normal people relax after they realise that they're sitting on comfortable Bs for everything and that they won't fail the year.

where i go to school, we are so bloody kiasu, if we get a B in semester one, we must top the subject in semester two.

at my school, you will find a large number of students upset because they only got 5 out of 6 As. (mind you, we have a lot of 5 A students who JUST missed out on the straight As. that's a lot of upset people).

and freakishly, you will also be able to find more than one year 12 student averaging >95% for CALCULUS in the middle of the year.

i realise this makes us snobby in a way.
i'm sure there are other schools like this as well (a couple spring to mind immediately).
and i realise i'm going to sound snobby when i say this.
but where i go to school, everyone does so freaking well, scores considered good in the everyday community are only considered average.
and the school is so proud of this, it gets a bit sickening.

there's seriously something wrong with us.
we need to take chill pills... overdose in some cases.

i feel so LAZY when i'm at school because there are people who are just so hardworking you feel like a bum even though you finish most of your homework and only OCCASIONALLY nap in class.


our school reports are out, and most people who've talked about it seem to come to the "it was oklah" consensus.
it was ok in the real world translates into mostly As, and probably at least one 90+ average.

the guy i was talking to was saying how he's very happy to be getting straight Bs this year, and he was happy to tell me all about it (btw, he does really difficult subjects like History and stuff).

i do alright at school.
i'm obviously not the best, but i'm not the worst either.

still, i always try to avoid telling people i don't really know how i do at school, because for some reason...

it's just embarrassing.

bananas and ladders

being the most accident prone person that you are ever likely to bump into (literally), i'd used up most of our band-aids at home. so i went to the pharmacy before work this morning to pick some up in case of emergency (e.g. in the event that i accidentally cut my left foot off. God forbid -_-).

however, GENIUS that i am, i left my wallet at home.

this was not only very embarrassing when the lady at the pharmacy gave me this aww-you-poor-little-idiot look, but also horrible because it meant i couldn't get lunch, and i hadn't had breakfast.

i was reminded of this sad fact when i finally did get my lunch break, and my workmate jumped around in front of me going "subway? foot long? *hand actions*". all i could say was "no... *sad look* left my wallet at home", to which he gallantly replies "hey, no problem", brandishing a red twenty in front of me.

but seeing as i'd only known the guy for ten days, i shook my head and settled with bananas for lunch. thank God i brought two. not quite enough, but not too bad.


in other news, i took a ladder to the head today.
sigh.
i was just standing there.
in front of a ladder leaned against the wall.
then it suddenly tipped forward, and hit me on the head.
painful.

guy: you should report it.
kim: why?
guy: dunno. you can get like, medical fees if you need them.
kim: it's just a bump.
guy: hey, who knows. you might need to amputate your head.


sigh, i don't wanna go to work tomorrow.

our future leaders...

i had two feet worth of Subway within 24 hours last week during my meal breaks at work.

my mother was not happy.

however, my workmate told me a very funny story about his experience with Subway.

him: hi, can i have a blablabla please.
subgirl: sure. do you want a 6-inch or foot long.
him: 12 inch please.
subgirl: sorry sir, we only have 6-inch and foot long.

-________________-

there's obviously something wrong with our education system.

for the next many few days, if i refuse to go out with you or do not answer your calls, just assume that i am working.

either that or i'm sleeping.

on pounds and ladders

i was having a chat with a very dear friend of mine over MSN just then. we haven't seen each other in years, but we're still pretty good friends. the first thing he says to me today is...

"kim, i'm overweight."

he's always been a little bit on the chubby side, but he's chubby cute, you see. the conversation then plays out...

him: i weighed myself just now... i'm 113... kg, not pounds. i didn't realize i put on so much weight.
me: really. where do you put it all?
him: in a backpack.
me: *ignores* how much are you usually tho?
him: around 90-105 kg like that. (he's not short la!)
me: well... if it makes you feel better, i'm about 105-110.
him: pounds.
me: uh huh.
him: really meh?
me: what, you don't believe ah.
him: ...not really. you so light meh?
me: -______- 105 is about 48, 110 is about 50.
him: yeah. very light wad.
me: (suddenly thought of something) does it help if i tell you that i'm only 160cm tall?
him: oh. OHH. ahhh.... now i see...


man, i really love talking to people like this XD.
*not being sarcastic. really.*


work today was not a particularly fulfilling affair. i was left by myself for a few hours in a department i had no clue about... and then i received instructions via a piece of paper, telling me to get a big ladder and move stuff around.

so i climbed up and down a ladder that was taller than me several times, to remove hampers that were really rather big, from a shelf that was really rather high. managed to cut myself in the process (don't ask me how).

the ladder is weird. it's one of those clever designs with legs that are shorter than the wheels so that you can roll the ladder around. once you put weight on it tho (i.e. climb it), the springs depress and the legs touch the ground at the same level as the wheels so the ladder becomes stable.

basically, the ladder is shaky, but will become safe and steady once you start climbing and put your weight on it.

yeah right.

it's obviously designed for sumo wrestlers.

become stable my ass.

somebody woke up a little cranky

one of my relatives (an aunt) MSN-ed me this morning (it's amazing how technologically advanced they're getting), and after the usual small talk and pleasantries, she asked me the question that all aunts just looooooooove to ask.

unfortunately, it is a very annoying question.


aunt: so, got any boyfriend yet?

---(-_-") ok, here we go---

kim: nolah.

aunt: sure or not?

---OF COURSE I'M SURE LA. YOU THINK I SIMPLY LIE TO YOU AH---
---actually, that's exactly what you think---

kim: yes, i'm sure.
aunt: ya meh?

---why do you bother asking if you already assume i have one, huh? SERIOUSLY, save yourself the trouble and me the frustration---

it would be alright if they asked you, and actually believed you when you give them your answer. but there is only one correct answer to that question:

"yes, i have a boyfriend. he is very clever, and rich."

it's not just the relatives. my friends back in miri like to ask too. and the conversation plays out almost exactly the same way.
forget that i am only 16, forget that i am totally uninterested.
sometimes i wonder if it would be less frustrating to just make one up.

i really do love these people to bits.
but sometimes, i just wish they wouldn't.

it's someone's special day......

it's my mommy's birthday today.

she's been my mommy for 16 years, 8 months and 3 days...
and most of it has been pretty damn fantastic.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUM!

luvluv.

Just Seventeen

She was 5'6" and a little thin
Long brown hair on summer's skin
Her father beamed with undisguised pride
Her mother shed tears of joy by his side
As they watched their princess becoming a queen
It was hard to remember she was just seventeen.

"For general excellence", they called her name
She laughed as she stood; it was all just a game
As she made her way up towards the stage
She felt with each step the confines of her cage
For all that she was, all that she'd been
All she would be; she was just seventeen.

No longer a girl; a woman? Not quite.
She wasn't quite sure what was wrong, what was right.
"Be polite", "You're alright", "Wanna go out tonight?"
It was precisely these things that she wanted to fight
Because lost in the cracks of all in between
She was really afraid of being just seventeen.

Two hours, six shots, and a cocktail later
She knew that, somewhere, there was something greater
She stepped on the street, eyes closed with a smile
Bright lights and a horn, she was going in style
The laughter and lies played out on a screen
And she knew she was done, at just seventeen.

---

She was 5'6" and a little thin
Limp brown hair on lifeless skin
Her father remembered, as her mother wept,
All the promises that he'd never kept
But perfect in death, she lay serene
Forever to be just seventeen.

i am spending money that i haven't earned

monday: adventureworld (is this supposed to be one word or two words?)
i think i nearly died halfway up that stupidly huge slope that i was climbing for about the millionth time.

wednesday: checked exam results
watched "The Heartbreak Kid" at garden city in the afternoon. it's so obscene.
ritz's bank card was declined at Woolies, and emily and i gave him a bit of crap for that XD. so embarrassing right. but at least he had cash.
then i missed not one, but TWO buses. the nice thing was, ritz missed his bus too, so misery had company.

thursday: shopping
...should be considered a serious form of exercise. i wasn't shopping for myself, but managed to have a lot of fun anyway.

today: sharon's birthday
i woke up so early...... to cut sushi. okay, so i didn't really help her prepare much, seeing as i'm about as useful (and obstructive) as a tree trunk in the kitchen. but there was plenty of food, people had fun, and we all ended up in northbridge, despite initially splitting up and heading off in separate groups.

and karma turned around to bite me in the butt when my bank card was declined today... and i didn't have any cash left on me.
thankfully, mo - the hero of cashless kims - was there to save the day... and i went to an ATM and paid him back immediately, so we're all good now.

sigh...
i am tired.

give and take

love
anger
loyalty

...

i'm lost for words.

and on to the dishes

i just spent hours going through Fair Trading Policies, Diversity and Equal Opportunity, Health and Safety Procedures, Core Selling Techniques, the art of Visual Merchandising, Loss Prevention, Customer Service and Satisfaction, Returns Policies, Bullying and Discrimination, Emergency Procedures, and a whole lot of other workplace related stuff that jumbles up my already jumbled brain.

and then i did assessments.

three, to be exact.

i passed them all, of course. it'd be a bit sad if i could pass Chemistry and not work.

but i can't believe i actually read all that, then got tested.
it's just like being at school, only i actually get paid for the time i put into this, which is a definite bonus.

but they never mentioned the headache that comes with it.

FINALLY! I'M FREE! IT'S OVER! and any other post-exam cliche you can think of

sorry.
i know some people haven't finished yet.

but i have XD.

this is the first night in a long, long time where i haven't felt guilty for not studying.
i feel so free... so liberated...

...so buggered.

after a lot of happiness and jumping around and general mad-hatter grinning, i'm just spent. i think it's time for me to REST. it's not exactly well deserved, though, considering i didn't actually study as hard as i should have for the exams.

but it's over now, and thanksgiving dinner at Pastor's place was so nice. Jono makes the most amazing BBQ chicken marinade. yes, Jono. there was cake, rusty bit me, and Tiff's almost 18.
there, lovely summary of the night.

happiness makes me want to help people.
it's weird, i know.
and then helping people makes me happy.
so it's like a whole chain reaction thing.


lesson #0505 in battling stupidity

on a day where the temperature reaches 36 degrees Celsius, no matter how happy or how excited or how free you feel (e.g. after exams), if you do not have a car and have to rely on Transperth and/0r the two stumps you call legs to get around, do not go to the city unless it is absolutely necessary. otherwise, you can and will suffer.
in fact, it is recommended that you stay indoors in air-conditioned areas far away from the ever stealthy reaches of skin cancer.
the fun in the sun just isn't worth risking melanoma.

point worth mentioning:

Tze-Chiang (a.k.a. McBastard) got a freaking crazy 98.6% for his intro calc exam. that's crazy. in moey's words "bastard... he got the mark i need to pass for the YEAR".

point that super PWNS the point worth mentioning:

it's okay. cause Tiffany Foo got 100% in her year.

bahahaha... it's people like these who screw the rest of us up for TEE.

tomorrow is officially my first day of the holidays, and much of it will be spent cleaning my room and picking up the books and notes and any miscellaneous crap that is currently strewn across the floors, tables, carpets, benchtops - indeed, any previously available flat surface - of my house.
i am not a neat student.

i keep hearing my phone ringing from the kitchen but it's sitting right next to me and not ringing. i think i'm going crazy.

i have been listening to a few instrumentals on repeat for the last couple of days.
it's nice sometimes to just listen to music, without words to distract you.

a few favourites:

Wing Stock, by Ashley MacIsaac.
apparently he's a bit of a weirdo in person, but a brilliant fiddler.

To Zanarkand from FFX by Nobuo Uematsu (who composes most of the SquareEnix game soundtracks). i know it's a little overplayed, but i still like it a lot.

Utada Hikaru's First Love (FFVII Advent Children) is also quite nice, but the build-up is a bit boring. once it gets to the - what's the equivalent of the chorus in an instrumental? - the middle part, i really like it.

but i can't get past River Flows In You by this korean dude called Yiruma (who IS this?).
it stays in my head all day long... but it's so pretty. one of the prettiest piano melodies i've heard in a while. i love it.


T-15 hours to the chemistry exam.
poo.



[edit] 9.32 pm
anonymous has very kindly corrected my initial assumption that Yiruma is japanese.
he is, in fact, korean.
they're everywhere.

THE LAPTOP IS HOME

:)

the lamp glows green

general consensus is that the physics exam was so sh*t crazy hard that...

we'll probably all get scaled.

172 marks in 150 minutes over 33 pages.

they're trying to kill us, i swear.


what kim, jane and rick had for lunch:

spicy beef rolls served with sauteed egg and leafy greens over poached noodles lightly tossed in brown sauce, courtesy of the culinary prowess of rick and kim.

translation:
sausage, fried egg and limpy lettuce with mi goreng.
kim made the mi goreng, rick made the rest.

we seriously need to go to TAFE.

kim is very the don't want to do the exam

kim is very the don't understand what the crap is going on in physics.

kim is very the strangely calm about this at the currentness of this moment.

kim is very the sure that tomorrow is not going to be a happy day.

kim is very the hoping that the exam tomorrow will be super the easy.

kim is very the annoying when she types like this.

kim is going to sleep.

the things i resort to doing in an effort to avoid studying are truly amazing.

yesterday, i spent at least an hour folding laundry (yes, we have a lot of unfolded laundry).

and i did the dishes voluntarily.

then i sat down and watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (the original) on TV for a while.

getting up at 11 in the morning meant half my day was gone already.

and i only had two meals yesterday.
that's less than half what i usually eat.

but... it's okay.

plenty of time to stress tonight.

not.

starts with stress, followed by depress. hope to God it ends with success.

there's this thing that people above the age of 16 like to say.
in fact, i don't recall having met anyone who's said otherwise.

"aiyah... it's only year 11 la!"

yeah, i know year 11 exams don't mean anything in the end.
but the crazed kiasu-ness in me still wants to do well.
it sucks to grow up passing primary school effortlessly, and then to suddenly crash and burn because you can't be bothered to put in the work required.

and at my school, failing anything is reason enough to throw yourself off a cliff.

actually, it's cue for the teachers to start encouraging you to explore alternative pathways to achieve the goals and career aspirations that best suit your needs.

so study we year 11s must.

many of us find this extremely difficult.

some attempt to study in groups at Alexander library. but with Northbridge literally sitting just outside the doors, i'd say it isn't very effective. the call of bubble tea (90 seconds away) is a hard one to resist.

others form study groups... but tend to do this in blobs of more than 3 or 4 people. this usually results in a lot of giggling and eraser throwing.

some stay at home and cram everything into their little brains until they turn into pinkish mush. it works. -ish. these are the ones that come out of the exam rooms with crazed smiles on their faces, laughing to themselves from time to time.

a few study minimally and get brilliant results. we call these ones the bastards.

personally, i say "poo... have to study".
then i bury myself into a little hole and proceed to cry myself into oblivion.

THEN i pray really, really hard.

this is not a targeted post, not even a generalisation. it's a moment of brain poo.

you can forgive someone their flaws by saying that they're really good people, deep inside.
some deeper than others -_-

but pretty much everybody is a really good person, deep inside. so being good inside doesn't merit them over anyone else in any way.

it's not a permit to be a bad person outside, as long as they're good inside.

it's not even a ticket to forgiveness every time they do something wrong.

being good on the inside doesn't really mean anything in the end, if they're gonna act like bad people along the way.

isn't that such a childish way of looking at it?

well, it's about to get even more childish.

because most of the time, i want to think people are good.
it's not so much benefit of the doubt as it is self-delusion.

i have my moments of lucidity.

but for the most part, i believe that everyone is a lovely person, really, deep inside (note punctuation, don't read it wrongly); that no one would really hurt another on purpose; that people sometimes just make decisions that end up to be... not so great.

they're all good people, deep inside.

it gives me a bit of hope, a bit of optimism.
and really, sometimes,

it's enough.

am suddenly feeling very tired and sleepy...
and strangely paranoid.
it's weird.

had a rather amusing conversation with sharon while we were walking today...
shar: you know, my mum said "i don't understand how kim can work and still do well at school."
me: hmmgh?
shar: yeah, she said she doesn't know how you can have a job and still study.
me: don't... really... study.
shar: then i told her that you seem sleepy in school sometimes, and she said "yeah, maybe... i saw her on friday and she looks very weak, and tired, and skinny. very weak ah!"

XD
that made me laugh for a while.


we were going through our poetry units in English today and i was reminded of a few poems that i actually really like.
that doesn't mean i understand them very well. in fact, my interpretation usually does the poet no justice. like how one poet made a brilliant statement on marriage using a lion eating it's keeper as an extended metaphor (The Lion's Bride, Gwen Harwood).
i took it literally.

(here comes the potentially boring part)
...proof that poetry isn't all lovey dovey sonnets written in a way that you're sometimes not sure if it's even in english...

Doctor to Patient Bruce Dawe

Please sit down. I'm afraid I have some
rather bad news for you: you are now seventeen
and you have contracted an occupational disease called
unemployment. Like others similarly afflicted
you will experience feelings of
shock, disbelief, injustice, guilt, apathy, and aggression.
(although not necessarily in that order)
and you'll no doubt be urged to try the various
recommended anodynes: editorials in newspapers,
voluntary unpaid work for local charities, booze,
other compulsive mind-destroyers, prayer, comforting
talks with increasingly less-interested friends.
It is small comfort to know that the disease
is universal and can accommodate
the middle-aged and thirtyish and strikes down
those in camps in Kompong Sam and Warsaw.
However you will discover, as time passes,
that your presence in itself will make others
obviously uncomfortable. Try not to let
your shadow, at this stage,
fall across your neighbour's plate; eat
with the right hand only; do not touch
others in public (this can be easily
misconstrued); keep always
down-wind, if possible. Please remember
you have now become our common vulnerability
personified. Oh yes. and, by the way,
you will be relieved to know the disease
is only in a minority of cases terminal.

Most, that is, survive. Next, please.

moey tells me to become a blogging machine.
this is usually a cue for the words to rush out from the depths of my mind, tripping over themselves to channel positive chi into my fingertips as they perform a rabid dance across the keyboard.

...
or not.


i finally figured out why i haven't been able to sleep during the first half of last week.

daylight savings.

that fleeting inability to adjust just makes me feel so... horribly... old.


it's okay tho.
been sleeping like a baby since thursday, and haven't been doing ANY work either, so the stress levels are currently under a somewhat unhealthy mode of repression.


so sarah says i have a disorder.
in her own words...

man, i'd really do psychology just for you.

you're weird.
and i really mean that.

people sometimes don't believe me when i say i'm weird. they think it's just one of those things people say because they're feeling a little embarrassed.
but when i say it, i'm usually not lying.


school in less than 9 hours.
what fun.

the holiday bear

been feeling superly tired lately.
gave blood today too, and there were complications with my iron levels and whatnot so they actually had to take a blood test and check with some medical officer before they took my blood.
apparently my iron levels have dropped more than 20 grams in the last three months. i feel like i've lost something.

the needle they used to suck my blood for the donation was three times bigger than the one for the blood test, but the blood test was more freaking painful.

pain is not my friend.

on the upside, i am potentially maybe hopefully saving 2.5 lives XD.
the food they gave me was good, the free toy i got was cute, and i made a new friend.

AND... the nurse saw how much i loved their cute little round band aids, and gave me a handful to take home.

silver linings rock my severely mismatched socks!


the health is really becoming something of an issue, i'm feeling.
the cousin and i made a promise to ourselves and to each other that we would start taking walks in the afternoons to hopefully improve the values of our sad little blood pressures.
unfortunately, it was an empty promise.
sadly, instead of going for a walk the other day like we said we would, we finished a bag of burger rings in front of YouTube.

no wonder it's getting harder for me to climb the stairs.

my friend sent me a text at quarter to ten this morning and mentioned that we have "wonderful weather today." i look outside and it's lovely and sunny. then i stepped outside the house and nobody said it was gonna be so freaking cold.

i bought my friend a yellow shirt for her birthday. it's very, very... cute. the type of thing i think she would wear, unless i am grossly mistaken, in which case i shall be labeled as Most Tasteless Friend Number One.

i'm too tired.

the latest from the mother

*looking at sam*
"you know, sometimes i feel like i don't know you."
*turns to me*
"and sometimes i feel like i don't want to know you."

why i don't think i will ever have fish again

i read rachelKJ's blog yesterday morning - the post about all her pets (WHOAH, she has a LOT) - and i started remembering all the pets that i've had.

we had lots of dogs, a few cats, and a couple of rabbits.

but i want to tell you about our fish.

we first got fish when i was seven or eight, and we had three of them. three african fish - two of which were a rich dark blue with bright, multi-coloured spots, and the third of which was a little pale pink, sardine shaped fish. they weren't very big, and fit into a little tank that sat in the living room with the piano and the settee we never used.

anyway, these fish slowly killed each other off. i kid you not. ironically, it was the smallest fish that emerged the winner in the end, but it died a few days later because it had somehow lost an eye.

we never bought that sort of fish again. instead, we bought blood parrots, which were so the craze in town at the time. my dad liked them a lot, but personally, i don't see the appeal in a puffy, fat looking fish with bulging eyes and the self-preservation capabilities of a doorknob...

...because they just kept dying off. we started with nine, and dad kept replacing the ones that died. at one point, we were down to two, and suddenly, the next day, there were six or seven of them in there again. and they all looked exactly the same. it was like nothing ever happened.

i used to have nightmares about them all the time. you're little, but old enough to deal with death. the death of a few goldfish doesn't really bother you. but at the same time, they all looked alike, and there's only so many times (to your little brain) that the same fish can die -____-.

Brother Bear

we watched Brother Bear on TV just now.

i've seen it once before, and thought it was a pretty good film, but it's amazing how you can see so much more once you get a bit older.


there was this one scene in the film where Kenai, a human who was turned into a bear, and Koda, a real bear cub, were looking at ancient cave paintings. one of them depicted a huge scary-looking bear and a man pointing a spear at the bear. then Koda, the real bear, says:

"Those monsters are real scary...
especially with their sticks."

and that line, to me, is the point where you realize that good and bad are relative to where you are standing. light and shadow depend on the time of day, where you are, and what's around you. in the film, man thinks the bears are monsters, so they attack them. but to the bears, the men are the real monsters.

it's really just a very simplistic way of showing that there are always two sides to a struggle. you could write a whole essay on this, but basically, it all comes down to perspective. it all does in the end.
there's this one word in English that i really, really hate...

context.

you have to talk about how a person's context influences their values and attitudes and therefore guides them in shaping an understanding of the text in every single lit essay you do, and it's really annoying cause sometimes you just don't want to.

but i guess there's a reason they make you do that, because it teaches you to pick up things like this. it teaches you that everybody has different values, different beliefs, different priorities, and that it all makes a difference to the way they think. like how some people want to marry harry potter, but others think he takes himself just a little too seriously to be likable.

personally, i believe harry potter is just a character from a book.

but we digress.

we just always see things the way we want to, and somehow fail to consider the other side of the story. or maybe it's just that we refuse to. i don't know. but really, just put yourself in someone else's shoes and try to see what it's like for them.

heck, somewhere in the middle of watching that movie, i considered turning vegetarian.

steggles

a draft of the exam timetable came out today.
most people are happy with it.
i hate it.
but not because it's bad or anything.
i just hate anything exam related.
especially anything that reminds me i have exams at all.
my G&T paper is on the last friday.
that's crap.
but good in a way because i get more time to cram.
mmngh.

the linkin park concert is tomorrow night.
but i'm so tired.
the idea of being on my feet for a few hours with masses of people - most taller than me - invading my personal space just... doesn't appeal.
and i don't know the words to half their new songs.
still, it's linkin park.
bound to be good XD.

nic: kim... how do you pronounce "decades"? cause i keep saying "dickheads".

dk: i want to be a businessman. or something with a "-man" at the end. sounds cool.
me: yeah, policeman, fireman...
dk: ...spiderman, batman..

luvluvs and byebyes

school starts tomorrow.

...

helpless, breathless, speechless.
powerless.

caramellatte

Tra Vinh on Roe Street in Northbridge is dead and gone forever.
the hole in my heart that it once filled is now left open and gaping.
if we want good viet food, we now have to cram ourselves into the little Tra Vinh on Brisbane, a place that, as cheng loon puts it, gets "even more cramped after everyone has eaten their fill".


and this is what happens when the mother gets a cake craving...


she honestly doesn't care how she parked. in fact, she parked like this, we cracked up, she looked at the lines, then stopped the car and ran to the cheesecake shop.

i hope this isn't hereditary -_-

going a bit crazy.

was woken up this morning by a phone call.

WHO CALLS AT SUCH AND UNGODLY HOUR?

me: mmngh. whatimeissit?
dk: 10.30.

*silence*

me: oh.



my sister is going cuckoo. she keeps talking to "the golden arch".
oh wait, i just realised that she's talking to a teddy bear.

the bear just told me to shut up.


the bears have personalities. the one closest to the lens has attitude and he's from the hoods. the second one i have nicknamed goldie - i don't know what it's real name is. the furthest one is boring XD. the little one is my favourite, cause she's so funny. she's japanese, but speaks english, chinese and korean as well. she also pretends to speak french.

sam says "you want to sleep on my bed?"
"hai!" (yes)
"you have to sleep on the shelf"
"wakarimasen." (i don't understand)
"sleep on the shelf?"
"iie." (no)
"why not"
"kowaii desu" (scary) *pause* "shelf kowaii desu, watashi was KAWAII!!" (the shelf is scary, and i'm cute!!)
"ohmygosh, lame lame, you have to sleep on the shelf"
"wakarimasen. watashi wa chisai desu." (i don't understand. i'm small)
"so?"
"watashi wa kimi daisuki!!" (i like you lots!!)

ok, i think i'll stop there. btw, neither of us know jap well at all. so that's pretty sad japanese.
and...
most of the time, the japanese bear was me talking >< style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">[edit] 12.22am the bears have just given me a lot of crap for getting their details wrong. apparently goldie is the one from the hoods. the chocolate one is from texas. i got confused.
the far one is still boring tho XD.

how did tristan's hair get longer when the captain was cutting it shorter?

watched Stardust with the sister and the cousins yesterday.

it was funny, sweet, surprising, surreal...

altogether very nicely done, but still lacking the magic of Gaiman's storytelling.

i thought the cast was pretty good... and i will never, ever be able to look at Robert de Niro in the same way EVER again. michelle pfeiffer gave me goosebumps - her evilness! not HER her!!

it didn't follow the book exactly; elaborated more on some points and totally discarded others. but they didn't screw it up, and the ending was sweet but not terribly corny. i think i still prefer the book, but the movie was really not bad at all.



i was so bored, i joined Facebook.
crap.


HY: be wary of any sentence that involves "you" and "feel"
me: what about "how do you feel" when someone is sick?
HY: actually, i think it's only when "feel" comes before "you".

*pause*

HY: especially "i feel you"

bahahahahahahaha. i just found that incredibly funny.

my brain is aimlessly allowing itself to wander through my day.

a handful of us went to alexander library to try and get some of our work done.
well, SOME work was done, but let's not go into detail about how much of it was done by whom.


so what do two multi-lingual korean boys, one turkish girl from china, an indo-chinese dude, and a chinese-malaysian who don't hang out at school do when they take a trip to northbridge?

first and foremost, the thing that is most fun and important in an outing - it also happens to be a favourite activity of mine.

eat XD.


we had japanese for lunch, and the multi-lingual koreans flirted with all the waitresses. they're fluent in jap, and even though i'm not, i can still tell they just said "i'm from japan too. sapporo" and "me from tokyo!!". but while the japanese waitresses giggled, the korean waitress was super blunt. one of the guys asked "mobile number?".

"no."

turkish-chinese, indo-chinese, and chinese-malaysian just stared at them in shock. we had NO IDEA they were so SHAMELESSLY flirty.

that aside, i found out i was the youngest at the table. weird, since i'm an april baby and i'm usually older than most of my classmates.
and it's sad that amongst both boys and girls, i ate the most.

they have the stomach capacities of ants, i swear.


and there is a reason i'm calling us by our race/nationality. i'm not being racist. it is because there are supposedly about 5000 korean people in perth, and i think today, i saw most of them -_______-

i think i saw more korean people than chinese people today. definitely more koreans than i had ever seen in my life, and my friends know them all. even these couple of girls i saw on forrest chase and randomly thought looked korean, turned out to be their acquaintances. heck, the girl behind the counter in a shop we walked into was korean -_-"

korean people in the library, korean people at lunch, korean people in shops, korean people on every street we walked, korean people sitting next to us waiting for the bus, korean people boarding the bus in parkwood!!!

chinese-malaysian and turkish-chinese were wondering if there's only 5000 of them in perth, why do we seem to run into so many?



i got on the bus today, and i was the only passenger. since the bus hadn't left the station yet, i decided to ask the bus driver something. so i was standing near his seat, when this dude got on. now, i'm too unco to get out of his way and let him pass, so there was this awkward moment where i was trying to make room for him to get by.

then after i finished talking to the bus driver (who, btw, thinks i'm hell blur so was hell nice to me), i made my way to a seat. only, i knocked my bag (which was full of very heavy books) on a chair as i walked past, and the momentum spun me out of control, and i nearly lost my balance.

you know those cartoons or comedies that you watch on tv? where there is a character who's so clumsy and klutzy and off balance? yeah.

i am that character.

sorry, i'm having one of those one-sided conversation.
it's not one-sided. someone has to be listening for it to be counted as a conversation, so don't say that.

the escalators were not working

...so i had to climb the stairs to get to work.

i got a headache from it.

shut up. i know it's pathetic.

the headache has gotten progressively worse over the last 5 hours.

ngh.

shine on me

we are crooked souls trying to stay up straight
dry eyes in the pouring rain
the shadow proves the sunshine
the shadow proves the sunshine
two scared little runaways
hold fast to the brink of daylight
the shadow proves the sunshine
the shadow proves the sunshine

the shadow proves the sunshine switchfoot

street directing to mandurah is very tiring

we took a day trip down to mandurah yesterday with the family.

i want to retire there.
it's so pretty (the lousy pics do it no justice)

every house backing the water has a veranda, a private jetty, and a boat and/or jetski.

even the places where we stop to pee are nice.

we spent most of the time just looking at the scenery. driving here and there... looking.

it'd be fun to go down there and actually DO something one of these days.

she smiles.

she falls

what just happened?

she's ok XD.

there is a sandwich in glad wrap sitting on the monitor

i decided to take some notes today for my photography task which has been temporarily put on hold (for two months) due to lack of inspiration.
read: i was lazy, so didn't do work. now in danger of not completing the course.

imagine my shock and horror when i realized that i'm actually using physics and g&t to understand all the stuff wikipedia is desperately trying to channel into my brain.
i thought photography was my relaxing subject.
i have obviously been grossly misled somewhere in between.

it is, however, nice to know that i remember enough physics and maths to work out what all that technical stuff means. *puffs in pride*cue cheesy smile*iamsuchanerd*


my life currently consists of the pockets of time where i am not otherwise engaged in a televised (and subtitled) representation of life.

note: representation.

because how often do you see a love octagon?
only in kdramas.


kdramas aside, i also had a long, long chat with a friend on the phone today, and out of the blue, she said:

kim, you're gonna grow up and have lots of problems.

i felt so reassured knowing that i have friends honest enough to tell me that i'm going to be dysfunctional forever. ahh... life is good...

...even for sam, who totally got OWNED by mum today.
and mum doesn't even know what owned means.

sam was lying on mum's bed today when mum walks in and sees her. mum turns to me, and proves once again that she is the funniest one in the family.

"look. there's a freaky thing on my bed."

you should've seen us trying to stop laughing.

i need to learn how to cook. seriously.

i'm so bad at cooking that i can't even make simple pasta.

we're not talking about making pasta and sauce, it's just the pasta cooking. as in, just the noodles.

two out of two times in the last week, i have failed at it. the first time, i kept adding more because i was so paranoid that i hadn't cooked enough. i ended up with a lot leftover. this time, it was undercooked and i only cooked enough for half a person (don't ask).

i can't even make mi goreng without causing a potentially dangerous situation. ok, who am i kidding, i caused a semi-crisis. don't ask me how, but i managed to set some aluminium foil on fire.

it burns a very cheery orange.

almost hypnotic, really.


on a totally different, not even tangentially related, note, my friend has a theory that all girls are bisexual.

a lot of the guys agreed.

some of the girls did too.

the weird thing was, nobody disagreed.


[edit] holidays have started and i'm really loving this sleeping in on mondays thing. ahh... three mondays of waking up late. what more could i wish for?... at this particular moment.

blossom, bubbles, and buttercup

i was working today and some customer really pissed me off. i don't even remember what she did, but i remember getting really annoyed.

then i felt bad, and decided that i should probably ask God for forgiveness.

so i closed my eyes, and prayed...

"dear Lord, please forgive me for getting angry with these STUPID PEOPLE!!!"

...which, i realize, sorta defeats the purpose of asking for forgiveness in the first place.

$2 worth

she looked,
only to find he wasn't there.

then she realized she didn't know who she was looking for.

it was like a mess of strings, all tangled up with kites dangling on the other end, and she did not know which one to pull, which kite would follow. she did not know which one she wanted to pull, which one she was supposed to.

she was afraid to pull the wrong one.

and she was afraid of what might happen if she pulled at all

she did not know who she was looking for.

all she knew was that she fell,
and he wasn't there to catch her.

if i could give a **** for 15 hours

5 english lit essays to plan
4 g&t exercises (9b,c,e,f) overdue
3 chemistry chapters to study
2 physics worksheets yet to be done
1 photog task for before the holidays

how much time do i have?

a little about a lot

this is about a week's worth of blogging condensed into a third-rate post that really won't make for a particularly fulfilling read. don't say i didn't warn you.


i finished reading Arthur Golden's Memoirs of A Geisha on sunday. there was this huge hype about what an epic tale it is, and how brilliant it is and everything. but i've got mixed feelings about it. i have to say, the novel kept me riveted not because it had a particularly fantastical storyline, but because of the detail with which Golden describes the culture and traditions of the geisha of Japan. he describes details of people, places, and events in a way so explicit that you feel as if you are there, with everything going on around you.

of course, not everything he writes about has been described accurately. it is still, above all, a work of fiction and the author obviously twisted and exaggerated some little details to make it a more entertaining read. but towards the end i only read it cause i'd read most of it, might as well finish.

bleh. sayuri, the main character, isn't very likable to me. i didn't like the way the novel ended at all. all that uncertainty and painful build up for a half-arsed fairytale-ish ending.


monday night: a team of IMC-ers trouped up to Wooroloo(??) prison farm somewhere up north to share the love with the prisoners there. the people are actually just a few really decent guys who made a mistake in their life, and just happened to be caught for it. a lot of them are nicer than some people i know -____-

it was nice to see some of them really enjoying themselves, and even asking after we'd done the first song "are youse guys gonna do that again?" all in all, i think everyone got something good out of it. props to rick for running it, and to everyone else for doing a great job.

the car rides there and back were pretty alright too. on the way back, i put on the mask i used for the sketch, and told sean to turn around. i was in black, so all he saw was this white ghostly face floating in the dark, and he got so scared. then we all started playing with the masks and scaring the crap out of him. josh did this thing with his jacket that was so creepy... i got a bit freaked out even tho i knew it was just him. fun fun fun XD. and the jokes were really lame too.


JoRach's Java is the most lovable golden retriever i have ever met. she's a little on the playful side, but amazingly endearing. she's got these long, limp eyebrows over melt-worthy eyes that rick said he could fix with a pair of giant gardening scissors XD. rachel was not amused.


Matthew Vaughn's screen adaptation of Neil Gaiman's Stardust came out yesterday. i absolutely loved the book, and i want to see this movie. Neil Gaiman himself seems pretty happy with it, but Mr. Gaiman is such a nice person, i'm sure he wouldn't say anything bad about the movie even if it was hell crap.the previews don't look like the movie follows the book very much, but previews are always misleading. i'm quite happy with the casting tho, except i've never seen charlie cox in anything so i can't really say. still, he's playing tristan, the male lead, so i guess he should be alright for the role. i really hope it's not a disappointment.


i watched Pan's Labyrinth today, which i've been wanting to see for a while, but have not gotten the chance to till this afternoon. it is... fantastic. brilliantly violent, breathtakingly surreal, and hauntingly beautiful.it is a fairytale, but not one for children; i repeat, not for children (rated MA15+ man... don't play play). the characters are well portrayed, the setting is magical, the camera work is nicely done (i especially liked the transitions between scenes), and the storyline is absolutely fantastic.

guillermo del toro manages to turn what is essentially a simple story about a child's imagination into something richly dark, dangerously revealing, and utterly enchanting. if you're not squeamish, and have a slightly unhealthy interest in the morbid, then it's a good watch. leaves you something to think about.


i'm so tired -_________-

one confession

i don't want to be able to escape.
i don't want to be allowed to get away.

please don't ever let me run.

nemo has bulging eyes

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RICK!!

there's this young couple that comes for waffles quite often when i work on Tuesdays. they're an unlikely couple - the guy's a pretty big, awkward looking asian; the girl's a petite caucasian, cute as anything. but as peculiar a match as they seem, they've been together for quite a while, and it's always nice to see them together.

anyway, this couple always orders a large waffle to share, and last night the guy came to order as usual. only, the girl wasn't with him. she was standing alone at the rail, waiting for him. only, he didn't go back to her after he'd ordered. he stood in front of the store waiting.

call us busybodies, but we found this really weird. and we thought they had a fight. Mich felt bad cause she thought the girl was upset that the waffle was taking so long to get there. and when the guy finally got his waffle, he went to sit near the girl, who was still standing.

he offered her some waffle, she declined. she said something to him, with her arms crossed over her chest, he ignored. then she put her jacket on, and walked away.

we were all strangely heartbroken.

the guy calmly finished his waffle, then stood up, returned the plate, and walked out in the opposite direction.

quite a while later, the girl comes back alone, looks around the food court, then walks up to us.

"could i just quickly get a bottle of water?"

i think that was the moment we were all truly shattered.


we tend to form attachments to certain customers; we see them all the time, we remember their orders, we know just how they like their coffee, we know where they'll sit.
it's weird when something changes; like the time one of our customers died, or when a bunch of them left perth.
i guess we all like regularity in our lives.
too bad shit happens.

a chicken on the monitor

i'm not blogging because i don't like this keyboard.
yes, this is stupid, i know. but i just don't like it.

a friend and i were talking about going to tafe.
me: mm.. i'm going to tafe next year.
him: YEAH, i SO believe you. that doesn't work on me.
me: why not? i wanna become a plumber.
him: haha. yeah, plumber my toilet.

*pause*

him: but if you go to the tafe, i will smack you. hard.

how lovely.

then...
me: why? what's wrong with tafe?
him: sounds like tape. GAY.

SUPREME reasoning.
from the same guy who came up with the fantastic TEE strategy.

more boring than being kung-fued by a monkey

jase told me to try this.
the Death Predictor.

this is mine...

kim: At age 26 you will go down in a small raft, in your friend's pool, and subsequently drown.

this is very disturbing.
1) according to this, i have ten years left.
2) i am going to be in a small raft in a pool.
3) i can't actually swim -_-

18th

happy birthday ANDREW LEONG.

you're legal XD.

sakura stares at me on her little stand

apologies
to jess, for being so grumpy when i went back to open your locker for you.
to nigara, for getting all flustered and impatient when explaining physics.
to mo, for laughing at you every time you climb the stairs.
i'm like a cranky 90 year old woman.


i was talking to a friend just now about bowling...
kim: i used to have to use the lightest ball.
him: heavier balls have greater impact, tho.
kim: yeah, but i'm just not a strong person.
him: hmm.. you can use the rollers designed for challenged people. *pause* not saying that you are challenged of course.
kim: *laughs*
him: you found that funny? there's an inclined plane that guides the ball down the lane.

i think... i think he actually thinks i'm retarded.


i found out this morning that luciano pavarotti had pancreatic cancer.
this afternoon, i found out he died.

death seems to enjoy visiting, and life finds it hard to keep itself around.

the speakers keep making funny noises

it feels so nice knowing that people care about you. even if they don't say it outright. or say it in abstract ways. or say something bordering on insulting, but you know what they mean.
thank you for being lovely, all of you. you know who you are (maybe).
and thank You.

i'm over being the emo-ness now. or the emo-less, rather.


you know, it took me a while to grasp the concept of the TER being a ranking, not an average. and everyone i know who hasn't worked out what it is, and has asked me, has had trouble understanding that it's a ranking. i was starting to think that maybe it had to do with the way i was explaining it.

until tonight.

i was talking to a friend of mine whose english isn't even very good. and he asked me what the TER actually is. i told him. and he got it immediately. not only that, he managed to put it into context...

kim: it's a ranking. so if you get 60%, you did better than 40% of the state. if you get 99.95%, you're in the top 0.05% of the state.
dk: ooooh.
kim: so basically it's a test to see how many people you can beat.
dk: oooh. so... if i'm lucky... everybody do so shit... i get good TER.
kim: *i'm laughing now* EXACTLY!!
dk: so.. i shouldn't study. should distract others from studying.

now THAT, is what i call a working mind. that's laziness at it's best, channeled into innovation and BRILLIANT strategy. 10/10.

i feel nothing

no motivation to do anything.
don't FEEL like doing anything.
it's not laziness. i can take laziness.
i don't even feel like msn-ing.

and it's a terrible feeling.

my hands are cold and i feel like sleeping

firstly, happy birthday to...

kuok 28th August
amy 29th August
ken 31 August

best wishes for the year ahead, and God bless you.


my chemistry teacher hates me, have i mentioned that before? he LOVES picking on me, i swear. i'm not paranoid or anything, my classmates think so too.
we were going through our chemistry paper the other day, so that he could explain all our mistakes to us. then this happened.

sir: kimberley, can you tell us why the answer can't be D?
me: *quickly swallows the chocolate* oh, i put D.
sir: *smiles happily* i know.

-______________________-

the dude freaking remembers ALL my mistakes. and you should've seen the look on his face when he said that. he was smiling so happily, it was insane. and when he was explaining the diagram we had to draw, he said "some people drew it like this *draws diagram on the board*".
i looked at my paper, then at the diagram on the board, and it was exactly the same.
he even remembers my lousy diagram and used it as the example of what NOT to do.
and he was having SO MUCH FUN it actually got pretty funny. i was so amused i kinda forgot to be horrified. i kept having this mental image of the old guy going "HAH!! IN YOUR FACE!!!"

but he's a brilliant teacher, gotta give him credit for that. if i bother to pay attention, i don't have to study the book anymore. he's that good. problem is, i have the attention span of a retarded goldfish and very distracting lab partners.

he once told us about the guy who discovered the benzene ring. apparently this guy's theory about the alternating single and double carbon bonds was laughed off by all the other scientists, and the guy ended up having a nervous breakdown. we were all laughing about it, then my teacher said "he must have been one of those Sensitive New Age Guys."
there was this moment of shocked silence as we all wondered "how does he even KNOW about the sensitive new age guy thing?"


mo's been out of school for a couple of days. he's tried to blog, but nothing very productive came out of it. the little idiot fell and busted his knee, so he's been a bum and missed out on school.
he showed up for a bit during last period on thursday to "pick up some homework". i talked to him outside my classroom for a while before going in. about 15 seconds later, i look out the door, and he's still hobbling past on his crutches XD.
i laughed.

raw noses

i was so so happy that i didn't get sick this winter. so so happy.
and in the last week of the season, God decides to play a cruel joke and give me a cold.
a large part of my bodily fluids are currently leaking out through my nose.


and the latest in fast food chains: KFE, Kentucky Fried Elephant.

i was enlightened today.
sorry, can't be bothered correcting all the spelling.

wooP! bball =D!! says:
cute, hot and preety is 3 diffent things ok
wooP! bball =D!! says:
like wayy differnt thing
wooP! bball =D!! says:
girls can be put into those 3 catagories
wooP! bball =D!! says:
hahahahah
wooP! bball =D!! says:
and dey all equally good
wooP! bball =D!! says:
a 10/10 preety is same as 10/10 cute

can anyone verify this? XD


special shoutout to jessie for turning 15 today.you're definitely the cutest aunt anyone could ask for.


mm.. aussie idol is on now. time for me to go pass judgement on people i don't know.