2008

this is one of those reflective end of year posts.
i don't think it will be particularly deep and meaningful.
the OCD part of my brain demands that i make a list.

so in 2008...

1) I have been to karaoke more times than in all the rest of my life put together. Times by two. Mostly around the exam period (not before, definitely after, and sometimes in between ><).

I'm not gonna lie to you. It did get disturbing sometimes.

2) I fried an egg. Myself. Perfectly. Once. I kid you not.
Sadly, I did not capture this monumental moment on camera.

3) I failed more assessments than I have - yup, you guessed it - in all the rest of my life put together. In my defense, all of them were Literature essays, and English is NOT (technically supposed to be) my first language. I did fail quite a few of these though.

4) I went to church camp and I learnt how much I really have to be thankful for. I learnt about stepping out in faith, because there is literally nothing stopping me. I learnt about possibilities, and that all I have to do is ask and believe. I learnt about love, courage, strength and so much more.

I also had a heap of fun :)

5) I exercised like... 4 times.
We had to do two sports for school this year, and I picked bowling. Hur hur. Great workout, bowling. Very good for the... umm... something.
The majority (hahah! majority!) of my exercise came from playing strange games at youth created by YJ.

6) I had the best care group. Most. Awesome. Ever. 'Nuff said.

7) I finished my last year of high school. It started out kinda normal and not really very special at all, but it just got better and better (and harder and harder). But it was so good. I didn't want to leave when we eventually had to.

Calculus. Us girls aren't REALLY that short, okay. We're all bending a little bit to make the dudes feel taller. Mr. Whyte tolerated our incessant chattering but for some strange reason, would not tolerate something like 14x39=456 (do YOU think that's worth taking 4% off?)

Physics. It was SO SLACK. I can't believe so many of us got away with all the stuff we did (or lack of stuff we did XD). Mr. Lampard is kinda odd... but still cool.

8) I quit my job. This is the first time I have quit a job. Granted, it's only my second proper job, but still. I felt a sense of accomplishment. Now I don't really feel like going back. Now, I can't remember what a 12 hour shift feels like. Now, I also don't have sore feet :)
Oh, I also don't have to sing lame, clearly-written-by-the-manager-himself, "inspirational" songs at staff trainings that take 40 minutes for travel. Each way.

9) I graduated. From high school. I have achieved the WACE. It is a rather boring piece of paper, really. My bank statement is more interesting.
But it's nice to have something to say that the last 5 years of high school - including 18 weeks of swimming, hundreds of assessments, Chemistry, 18 weeks of swimming, Mrs. V, probability, and have i mentioned 18 weeks of swimming? - have come to an end and I must have SOME brains to have graduated :)

10) I did a lot more stuff but I cannot for the life of me remember them right now. My brain could really only process TEE towards the end (and oh, that's another thing I did in 2008).

It doesn't matter, though. The year has been great, thank God, and thank all of you that made it so lovely.
2009's got a lot to live up to, but I have no fears that it won't.

So Happy New Year guys.
Big smiles, God bless, and here's to a great one :)


*p.s. 11) My blogging habits are shocking.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS

because

"the 'merry' from 'merry Christmas' comes from this word... merry."

in between meals and sleep

i have been catching up on all the reading that i so needed to have done over the last year.

now i feel a boiling, irrepressible urge to write.
but i have no idea what.

rawr.

i passed english

thank God for the whole thing :)

to everyone who was online at 12.03 this morning

i apologise if my MSN sent you a link that gave you a virus.

i hope you were clever enough to not click on it.

please.

no, i did not download the virus.

i want to forgive my cousin for doing this.

she does not know better.

breathe.

time to reformat.

:)

on prayer

boingggg: just to protect myself from getting bashed about this post, i really do mean it. i'm not being sarcastic or critical. i know it may sounds negative or like i'm trying to be funny to some, but honestly, i don't mean it like that.


i have the attention span of a puppy with ADHD and i sometimes find it a little bit challenging to pray for any one thing for prolonged periods of time (in one sitting). not because i get tired of it, but it's like... once i've said it, i've said it.

if there's a barbecue on tomorrow and i'd like to pray for fine weather, i pray that God will grant us fine weather, and please hold the rain until the day after.
if i have an exam tomorrow, i pray that i will remember everything and that i will do well in it.
if somebody isn't feeling well, i pray that they will speedily recover.

literally.

unless i am truly desperate, on a daily basis, my subject focused prayers are basically one liners.

let me give you an example:

Somebody else:
Father God, thank You for giving us this day and letting us come to Garden City. I just want to pray that you will help us find a parking spot that is close to the doors so that we won't have to walk too far, and also in the shade so that we will be out of the sun/rain. Please give us a good spot, Lord, and grant us a blessed trip to the mall today. Thank you Lord. Amen.

Me:
Dear Lord, please give us a good parking spot soon. Thanks!

Me in desperate mode:
Dear Lord, please give us a good parking spot. Please give us a spot, please give us a spot, please give us a spot, oh dear God pleasegiveusaspot... (x infinity until we find a spot). Thanks.


and it just hit me then, when i was lying in bed and saying the until-i-doze-off prayer...

i jumped from one prayer item to the next, to the next, to the next, and then jumped back to the original item and repeated. within about two minutes.
there are people out in that wide and wonderful(ly strange) world out there that can pray for hours on end about the one thing, and i have found that i am not such a person.

i actually felt as if i wasn't saying an adequate prayer, so i tried to buff it up a little, but found myself basically repeating what i'd just said (and there's nothing wrong with that, really).

i am just not one of those long, powerful, non-repetitive prayer persons.

and i'm not making any criticisms about people who say long prayers here. i get that many people do get touched by the spirit and the prayer just comes pouring out from their hearts (wow, it's hard to say that without sounding mocking ><, but i mean it sincerely), and that's really great.

but i do believe i'm not the only person out there who does the one-liners. i believe that for every super awesomely beyond awesome prayer warrior out there, there is an equally simple one.

and it's nothing to be ashamed of.
the Bible says this:

When you are praying, don't say meaningless things like the gentiles do, because they think they will be heard by being so wordy.

Matthew 6:7

and again, that's not condemning eloquence. it just means even the simplest prayers are heard. Jesus said to go to Him as the children do, simply and honestly. so i don't believe a prayer has to be long or wordy. i think that as long as you mean it, and you know that you are directing your thanksgiving and petitions towards God, He hears it. He hears everything, man, i don't think He'd skim over a simple prayer.

and yes, i know that specifics are important. but i also know that God knows my heart. so if i want a good parking spot in Garden City (almost impossible, but all things are possible through Christ so HAH!) and i just pray for a good parking spot, i trust that God will give me one. (and if He doesn't, He probably wants me to walk off the lunch).

it's not an excuse to say really short prayers. i mean, with thanksgiving and confession prayers, i think it's probably best to go all out and give God the thanks He deserves, and beg the forgiveness you do not.

it's just that not everyone is a storyteller, not everyone is good with words, not everyone has a vocabulary the size of canada, and not everyone is a long prayer person.

so if you find that you are - or can at times be - a one-liner, have faith. your prayers have not gone unheard. as long as your heart is right with God, He will work on it and make it all happen in His own time.

big smiles :)

mum

today was your birthday.

and there are a lot of things i could say, but tonight i can only say this:

we joke about the dinosaur thing,
our new favourite phrase is "you're fossilizing!",
and there are absolutely no subtle hints at all in getting you that cookbook.
(the hints are very un-subtle)

but

not for anything in the whole world would we trade you,
or push you away,
or leave you.

because when we were only half a metre long and smelled kinda funky, you fed us and cleaned us and did your best to make sure we were happy.
because when we were really sick, or ripped ourselves open falling down on concrete, you were there to wrap us up and make us forget anything was wrong.
because since our last five hour plane ride, you've worked harder than i think i ever could to give us everything we needed, and so much more.

because even if this was the only 'because',
at the end of the day, we know how much you love us,
and put simply,
we love you too.

so happy birthday, mum.
you are fossilizing very well :)

where's my train?

i was waiting for the train in perth today, and there was a little boy of about four with his grandfather next to me.

i have never seen anybody more excited about waiting for a train before in my entire life.

the kid was jumping up and down, exclaiming things in his little voice...

why do we have to stand behind the yellow line? can i stand ON the yellow line? is that our train? how much longer do we have to wait? grandpa! i can hear the train! i can hear the- LOOK i told you the train was coming! i told youuuu!!

i couldn't help but smile, even though i had a headache that threatened to explode my skull.

on the train, the boy's grandma turned up. the three of them sat across from me, with the little boy chattering throughout the ride.

i can see it! that's the burswood. that's the burswood, isn't it gran. that's the burswood. we're getting off. oh wow, that hotel (apartment buildings) is bigger than that hotel. and that one's bigger than that one. look gran! it's the burswood!!

the voice of the train thus spake: THIS, is burswood.
the train did not stop.

the grandparents of the boys were wide-eyed. they were clearly not from perth, seeing as they were staying at burswood hotel, and so they had no idea what to do.

the little boy was outraged.
why didn't we stop? did we get on the wrong train? can't we just tell the driver to stop us here?
it was very cute.

the elderlies didn't know what to do, so i told them to get off at victoria park and take the next train back up. they thanked me, and walked off with the little boy, who was so indignant that even at the last second, he turned around and asked me loudly

did you get on the wrong train toooooo???

he totally made my day :)


i wish i could be like that again - where a simple train ride could make me so excited i could harldy breathe for the anticipation.
i wish i didn't have to think about every single thing i did, that i could just go with the flow and know that nothing will go wrong.
i wish more things would light up my eyes the way the train lit up his.
i wish i could just give it all to God, and truly let it rest with Him.


...
this started out as a happy post.

backlog

your blog is dead. update. eh, your blog very sien le. blog, you stupid. BLOG!

yeah, okay.
Didn't really have an excuse, really, apart from the fact that my brain doesn't see itself up to doing anything even remotely intellectual.

I have just blogged enough reading material for about... 8 minutes' read, I'm guessing.
Have your blog fix for the hour.

Go on. Don't be shy.


*p.s. Chronologically, you read posts in order of furthest down, to highest up. But it really doesn't matter here. Just letting you know :)

Leavers'

What did we do when we faced the nightmare?

We thought about when it would be over.

So what did we do when the nightmare was over?

We went down to Mandurah!!

And what, you ask, what did we do when we were down in Mandurah?

Well, I'm glad you brought up the question :)

This is one of the two angelic boxes of Kleenex I managed to empty while I was down there, courtesy of the ever-reliable holiday flu I caught on the first night.
There's always a bright side, though. I was allowed to sleep while everyone prepared dinner...
and I got to do the dishes afterwards too.

lllll

There was a lot of cooking involved down there, and far too much washing up.
We also waited for the bus. For a long time.

ll

Cooking wasn't always a friendly affair, but eating never failed to bring us (and guests) together.

ll

We went to the beach for a total of two hours in the three days we spent there.
The playground was half an hour of awesome fun, some of which has been captured on video (haha for William).

ll

We played Alfred's strange and scary games (also caught on video), and we spent half of our waking hours bankrupting Moey, cheating Nigara, and calling Karina's bluffs.



We learnt that us girls are bad at posing, but the boys more than make up for it.
Actually, Alfred is more than enough of a poser for all eight of us.

Playing house was fun, even though we're quite a boring little family that hardly went out and were content to actually just sit indoors playing Maple Story, betting real cash *coughCOINScough* in poker, or watching Karina personified on screen (in Miss Gold-Digger, which is a rather senseless movie).



Three days down south was nice :)
We learnt who snored and who didn't, who could cook, who liked washing, and probably most importantly... who was really bad at bluffing.

So next time, we'll all just cheat Karina at poker :)

school is out

...and has been for five weeks now.

I miss it.

Year 8-10 was a bit of... err... I wouldn't say it was a complete waste, because I did learn things, but it was the last two years of high school that really left an impression :)

You know, getting up every morning after an average of 6.5 hours of sleep was painful. Truly. But I'm glad I stuck with it because it was so much more than just slogging through 8 periods of class each day.

Some classes *coughCHEMcough* were more playin than learning.

Others *coughLITcough* were never fun, but at least the people sharing your pain were pretty cool.

scattered.

In lower school, the TEE feels like it's an age away. In year 11, the workload is suddenly quadrupled from year 10, and you panic a little, but you know you still have time. All the way up till your mocks in year 12, you never really feel like those finals are going to come. When they do, it's surreal and in the middle of each exam, you hope you'll wake up and realise you still have a week to study for the monster in front of you trying to pass off as a testpaper.

So the library became our second home for a while. It was like being at school. You couldn't avoid seeing high school kids there, annoying all the uni students with loud 'discussions' and too much giggling. I hated having to go in my school uniform, because tartan skirts are just oh-so-inconspicuous. I believe group studying reduces stress. At the time. Okay, group studying just postpones stress ><

But there is a point in the midst of all that stress where you realise that it's all pointless. Getting that 99 point something TER isn't important anymore. If you've been studying the whole year for something, you sure as heaven better know it the week before the exam, otherwise you're pretty much screwed anyway.


In the two months leading up to the TEE, I think a lot of us knew that we would finish off the five years with decent results and a WACE (unfortunately, I do realise I don't speak for EVERYONE here ><). We also realised just how far the TEE is from being the most important thing you will ever do in your life.

In the last two months of my time in high school, I became friends with so many people I had hardly spoken to in the last five years of my life. People who were just classmates before suddenly became people I'd miss when it was all over.

llllllll

People I saw a little bit too much became people I wanted to keep seeing, to keep hanging out with, to keep getting angry with, and to keep pissing off.

llllllll


Valedictory was a stunning night not because we officially graduated, looking smart with our white sashes. It was because of the huge amount of support and respect we demonstrated as a year group (I have stories about this, but just believe me without them). It was because we all grew up a little, knowing that it was the last time we'd all be together. It was what happened afterwards, when we all gathered outside to do the hug-and-bye thing. We learnt then, that there are no such things as cliques. We are all one class, together in the knowledge that even though the days of spoon-feeding are over, we are good kids and we will turn out okay.

Yeah, the homework sucked. School hours were carefree, and exam stress made me feel like rotten bananas (my mood smelled like them too). Friendships were strained, mended, ended, forged, strained again, and mended again.

You can look back in ten years and believe high school was a breeze, but right now ask any Year 12 just out of school and they'll tell you it wasn't easy, that it's been the toughest part of their (rather short) existence.

But they'll also tell you that it's been the best time of their lives and, quite frankly, they wouldn't trade it for the world.

Know it's been great,
believe it gets better :)