Sunday, February 26, 2006

orange, green, STRAWS!!

I WANNA EAT NANDOS!!

went to the city today. we were to meet sarah in front of the library at 2. but william and i are stupid. we got to the city correctly. got on the blue CAT correctly. got off at the correct stop. very happy. and then OH SHIT WHICH WAY DO WE GO FROM HERE!!

"excuse me, could you tell us how to get to the library from here?"
"sorry, i don't know either"

ah crap.

oh well. we finally did find someone who knew their way around perth. we got there and WHOA, WHY'S EVERYONE FROM SCHOOL HERE? actually, i kind of expected it cause we all had the same assignment and the alexander library was the only place where we could get the information. and everyone went to do the research cause the teacher is HELL SCARY. NO JOKE MAN.

i also forgot to bring my task description, the genius that i am.. no worries. EVERYONE else had one.

blablabla. i found the stuff i needed. and i didn't even have to bust my ass. made me wonder why everyone else was coming back two or three times. i sure as hell am NOT going back. even though i really love the atmosphere. so nice. the aircond rocks. and they have an awesome elevator.

the bathroom was weird. i went in and BAM, nearly fell down. they had blue lights. and it made me go wonky. you open the door and immediately there's a full-length mirror in front of you which reflects the blue light even more [i also noticed my butt grew]. then before i relieved myself, i asked this random lady "is it just me or are the lights really weird" she goes "they're blue" YAY, I'M NOT PSYCHO. then she explains that they're anti-druggie lights cause you can't see your veins. and i'm like "wow, you're so right". and now i think she thinks i'm a druggie.

but the best part was after the library. when we went to easy way for bubble tea. where i saw JOE, with amy and this other girl i-don't-know-her-name-but-she-goes-to-church.

joe: what are you doing here?
kim: went to the library.
joe: *glances at my friends* KEKE one, come here to play only.
kim: -___________________-

the bubble tea was great. i remember the place now. richard once bought jane an almond milk tea from there. it was nice and VERY sweet. so today i went there and i got the honey milk tea with FREE mango and milk pudding. it was YUM. sarah got honeydew milk tea with honeydew pudding. not a fan of honeydew, but it was pretty alright. william got green tea milk tea? with green tea pudding? we all inter-tried each other's bubble tea. they were all good. i liked mine best.

sarah had a green straw. so did william. mine was orange.
sarah: what a retard. why'd you get an orange straw?
kim: how does that make me a retard, huh?
sarah: it's ORANGE.
kim: actually, i chose the orange one cause it matched the colour of my pudding.
sar/will: actually, SO DID I!

we're just a bunch of retards.

Saturday, February 25, 2006

random msn convos

moey's thoughts on death
mo: ...so if one day i'm dying in front of you, you won't just prod me with a stick?
me: of course not. i'll chuck rocks at you too.
mo: good, good. i'm so glad i have a mate like you what would you do if it was william?
me: i'd prod him with a stick and throw rocks at him.. and peaches, just to mock him
---peaches have more hair than william---
mo: lol. omg, that's funny. i'm crying.
me: .....
mo: sorry. what about ritz?
me: i'd be the one that caused his death.
mo: lol. what about your best friend?
me: who's that?
mo: i dont know. wait. what if it's sarah.
me: sarah. i wouldn't get a chance to do anything. she'd drag me into death with her.


william has problems with his spelling.
william: that's funny. that's HISTARICAL
kim: hysterical. you gotta remember the words everytime i correct your spelling.
william: your english is EXTREAMLY good.
kim: extremely. dude, LEARN TO SPELL. otherwise you're gonna fail english. and you're taking ESL!!
william: I HATE IT. when the teacher asked what i wanted to improve, i emidietly say spelling
kim: HAHAHA
william: shut up.. emidietly... wrong spelling T_T
kim: immediately

debating about my strength.
mo: kim is weak
jess: way way weak
kim: shut up
may: but you haven't seen her other side
jess: she has another side?
mo: who? kim?
kim: i have another side?
sen: how many sides does kim have?
clar: 10 million
may: 6 sides. wow, a CUBE!
sen: gz... kim's a cube.

-est
mo: hey, in this convo i'm the oldest and hairiest and shortest and stupidest and ugliest and dumbest... kim, help me out here
sen: no, i'm the shortest
kim: sennie's the shortest
sen: mo, you got owned
kim: mo's the... weirdest.. no, wait, that's me.
mo: no, i am.
kim: FINE, but i'm the greediest.
mo: YAY, i'm the weirdest.
sen: sheesh. proud to be weird.

Friday, February 24, 2006

the things teachers say

the english teacher:
"don't just write 'rama' on it, write your FULL NAME. not brandy, not madonna - you're not a rock star"

the photography teacher:
"now, the hand washing basin has a little bit of dishwashing detergent in it. TRIX detergent. peach perfect smell. *sniffs* ah~ i just love the smell of peaches."

the chinese teacher:
"WHAT'S ARE YOU LAUGHING AT? there's nothing funny. if you're laughing at nothing then you must be MAD"

the law&com teacher:
"[one day] try not to be racist... [another day, after making a racist comment] i'm sick of having to apologize in my own country. there's racism everywhere. DEAL WITH IT."

the chinese teacher [again]:
"ok, you, read this paragraph"
"[student] the topography of china blablabla..."
"[teacher] hang on. EVERYBODY BE QUIET. ok, continue"
"...there are hills and rivers - "
"when someone is reading you must all be quiet."
"[class is quiet] ...and lakes and mountains -"
"people who interrupt other people have no manners"

the math teacher:

[sorry, he's really boring. i never listen in class. no idea what he says]

the english teacher [again]:
"[32 degrees celsius] it's far too hot to study today. do some reading."

the s&e teacher:

"resources can be classified into renewable and non-renewable resources. ... humans are a renewable resource"


the science teacher:
"i'll be nice to you next week. i won't give you a test."

the photography teacher [again]:
"girls, when you're in the darkroom, if you feel anyone touching you, KICK HARD"

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

pretty star the pony

OK OK, I'M BLOGGING.

sheesh, you guys think i don't have a life OUTSIDE of cyberspace??

DON'T ANYONE DARE ANSWER THAT QUESTION.

remember enid blyton? whatever happened to her? i mean, i used to read her books like, ALL THE TIME... then again, that was about... 6, 7, years ago? crap, that just reminded me i'll actually be able to LEGALLY watch MA rated movies. yes, i realize how sad that sounds.

anyway, i used to just read and read and read enid blyton, OVER AND OVER AGAIN. i remember i had about.. i dont know, ten of her books... maybe more. but our tiny school library had WAAAAAAY more and i just took them out and READ AND READ AND READ. FINE, say that i'm a nerd. i used to read abridged versions of lots of classics as well. believe it or not, i've actually read great expectations, by charles dickens. who cares if there was a picture on every other page.

i remember this one enid blyton book i had. it was called 'pretty star the pony'. how profoundly juvenile. i read that one so many times, i dont know why. i also had "teddy with the kite tail" or something like that and lots of other ones with pixies and brownies. at the time, the word 'brownies' to me meant little creatures who looked like pixies but were slightly different [courtesy of enid blyton]. now, they mean those brown edible chocolatey cake/cookie things that my mum can make so well.

the best use of 'pretty star the pony' came one night when i was feeling scared and insecure about my parents not being home. and my sister started being all annoying. bear in mind i was about... 5. she annoyed me, so i picked 'pretty star the pony' up, and i banged it into her head.

she cried.

so did i.

Friday, February 17, 2006

moguls

the torrino winter olympics, 2006, have been AWESOME so far. the other night, i watched the women's halfpipe snowboarding competition. that was really really good. makes me wish i was more sporty.

i watched the mens freestyle moguls last night. it was addictive. i was supposed to be doing my math homework, but how can i concentrate when there is history being made on TV??? anyway, for those of you who don't know exactly what i was watching last night....


it's a freestyle skiing competition where the competitors ski down this course as fast as they can and execute spins and turns in the air when they reach the ramps. scores are given based on their times and also on the somersaults they pull.

anyway, i managed to watch a bit of the stuff before the actual final started, and i established my favourite skier. dale begg-smith, canadian born australian. and then i found out that he's the current world no.1 and runs a multi-million dollar compan
y at the age of 21. he founded it when he was 13. WOW, do i have great taste or what?

and he's not bad-looking either.

anyway, the finals were awesome. it was nearly eleven and i had homework due the next day, but you know how sport is... it gets addictive.

my favourite run was by Mikko Ronkainen, from Finland. he was AMAZING. he went down the course so fast and his air tricks were pretty much perfect. i mean, look at him, he knows he did well. his run catapulted him to first position.

mikko ronkainen after his final run.

and then there's alexandre bilodeau, a canadian teenager who executed two 1080 degree twists in the air perfectly. i was like WHOA! he's good. he's so good. ronkainen was still better, but bilodeau came an awesome second. when toby dawson [korean born American] pushed bilodeau off his second position spot, i wasn't too happy. he had a very clean run, but it was nothing exciting.

dale begg-smith came out last. imagine the pressure and expectation that must have been riding on his shoulders: the world number one coming out last behind 19 other competitors, some of which had done awesomely in their own runs. the score to beat was mikko ronkainen's 26.62. either way, ronkainen and dawson had a medal each. the question was what colour?


begg-smith came out fast with a clean first air and continued down the slope. his second air was the BEST cross backflip thingy ever [i dont know exactly what it's called]. i know a perfect cross is when the skis are perpendicular to each other [the commentator said so]. WOW!!

THE CROSS!!!

i thought the run was great, but not as good as ronkainen's, but the judges didn't think so. they obviously thought dale begg-smith was the ultimate freestyle skier because HE WON FIRST PLACE!! by .1 or something. score: 26.77 AWESOME!

look, there he is on his raised platform.


mikko ronkainen (2nd), dale begg-smith (1st) and toby dawson (3rd). reuters picture.

disclaimer: these pictures belong to other people. i did not take them and i do not claim to have taken them. i am not so pro.

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

so sue me

people keep asking me to blog. i don't really know why.

sarah tells me to do it all the time. "go blog. i need entertainment for the day."

moey: have you updated your blog recently?

Loon-a-tick says:
anyways, im bored. go update ur blog. i need something to read besides restaurant menus
kim says:
......
kim says:
why do people always tell me to go update my blog?
kim says:
and they're always like "i'm bored, go and blog so i have something to read"
Loon-a-tick says:
cos they're bored. go and blog so dat they hve something to read besides restaurant menus
Loon-a-tick says:
and ur blog is more interesting than fiction
kim says:
what's that supposed to mean?
Loon-a-tick says:
it means dat ur life is more interesting than our boring lives so go blog
Loon-a-tick says:
how many times hve i told u to blog already
kim says:
three
Loon-a-tick says:
here's number 4: go and blog

i've been talking to cheng loon. he surprises me. YES CHENG LOON. I KNOW YOU'RE READING THIS RIGHT NOW!!! i always thought he was really quiet and i dont know... not sarcastic. but i talk to him and he makes fun of me like richard makes fun of me. guess what? WE COME FROM THE SAME SMALL TOWN. well, he used to come from there, but now he comes from port dickson. hmph. he turned his back on miri.

he also reads terry pratchett.

HOW AMAZING IS THAT? i only know one other person who reads terry pratchett. JANE. now i know cheng loon. YAY!!! everyone else: you suck. ok, i didn't mean that.

AND HE WANTS TO EAT RABBIT. hahahahahahahahahahaha.

ok, i'm sleepy. watch out cheng loon. i'm gonna sue you for:
1) causing serious emotional damage from excessive nudges on msn
2) exploitation of my short term memory
3) discrimination based on monetary issues [i.e. for saying i dont have enough money to sue you in the first place]

Sunday, February 12, 2006

love is in the air

love is in the air - literally. my friend reminded me earlier on the valentines day is coming up. and suddenly, inspiration struck me. so i'm going to tell you a story about love between two of God's marvelous creations.
yep, that's right... see those two little specks on top of the wall there? yeah, those are my two main characters.


the one on the r
ight side likes the one on the left. you know what? i'll give them names. the one on the left is err... XD.. i'm just trying to decide whether or not sarah will kill me if i use her name. argh.. better not push it. ok, the girl [right pidgeon] is named Pidgy. and the other one is named jon. pidgy likes jon, but jon doesn't know it. unfortunately, pidgy can't work up the courage to tell jon. aww... look how shy they are.


anyway, so Pidgy approaches jon, slowly and cautiously. jon can't see pidgy because his eyes are placed at the sides of his head, not the back.


unfortunately, jon spots a piece of bacon up in a tree and flies away. pidgy follows hastily. jon sees pidgy watching him and pidgy quickly looks away. pidgy is on the left, btw.


anyway, finally, pidgy looks at jon. and confesses her love.


jon looks at pidgy...


and he totally rejects her.. MUAHAHAHAHAHA.

THE END.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

my species

i heard on the news earlier that new species of wildlife had been discovered in new guinea. this, of course, sparked my interest, because i'd always wondered if there were others of my own kind out there. unfortunately, my hopes were dashed yet again. i remain the one and only retarded cross between a monkey and a martian - with defects, no less.


A smoky honeyeater. Photograph: Bruce Beehler/ Conservation International/AP. courtesy http://guardian.co.uk

back to my point. according to guardian.co.uk, a team of 13 reasearchers from all over the place spent a month surveying more than a million hectares in Papua New Guinea - specifically in the Foja Mountain region. OK, one month in a jungle surveying the area... one month of testing the soil, recording rain levels, collecting shit samples - joy to the world.

anyway, these 13 people identified about 40 different species and pre
dict that there are a hell lot more out there to find. ah~ all hope of finding my lost brothers and sisters is not lost. but according to the news, the area has a human population of a whopping 300 people!!! how amazing.

now we ask ourselves... how is it that so many new species have never been identified? have they just evolved or are they just really pro at hide-and-seek? and why is the population level so low? is it because the area sucks? OR....*cue sinister music* are the supposed 'new' species not as innocent as they look. i mean, hypothetically, humans MAY have discovered these species, only to be eaten way before they got back to blabber excitedly to their families about the giant squirrel they just saw.

and new species are discovered quite frequently, apparently. all over the world too. a new species of whale was discovered in japan [what's with the japanese and whales?? it's like, some sort of obsession]. and this new species of spider was discovered just two years ago in california [so don't worry, jon, it can't hurt you here in australia].

courtesy http://cnn.com. isn't this spider gorgeous? stop squirming, jon.

and btw, sarah, amongst the 40 species of new wildlife discovered in new guinea, 20 of them were different types of frogs. i know, it's lovely, isn't it. anyway, scientists discover new species but the thing is, who the hell apart from the scientists themselves could tell the original species from the variation?? a whale is a whale, a spider is a spider. ok, to be fair, some of them looks really different [e.g. the orange spider] but other times...

can you tell the difference between the two apes? the one on the bottom is the 'original' mountain gorilla. the one up top was discovered.


and no, the gorilla may bear a startling resemblance to me, but we are not of the same species. gorillas are slightly hairier and more mature. kim has the maturity of a stunted mushroom, as some of you may already know. but maybe there's a point in all these new species. all to do with sustainability of the planet, as economics teachers would say. so scientists.. i urge you.. discover more species. preferably edible ones.

Monday, February 06, 2006

beef roll *drools*

YES CHENG LOON, I HAVE A BRAIN.
doesn't mean i have to use it.

sorry sarah [and jon], for not being able to make it to the baptism yesterday. couldn't get transport. well, couldn't get transport without troubling anyone. instead, i went to play badminton. XDDD. damn annoyed that i missed out on what must have been an awesome beef roll, though. sigh~

sarah, you have to keep your mum away from me. i don't know what it is about her, but I CAN'T SAY NO TO HER. i tell you, if she asks me to go vacuum her kitchen floor everyday, i'll do it. wth, she can ask me to be nice to you and i'd probably do it. she has that effect on me. rargh!!

btw, jon, you were right about the resolve to work hard. fourth day of school, and i've forgotten to bring my science homework back from school. which means i shall be doing it early tomorrow morning. and as far as the "i
will not take advantage of free food" thing goes, IT DOES NOT APPLY TO SARAH-ANN LEE. so i am entitled to eat as many of your gingerbread cookies as i please, as long as i... compensate you with other things [e.g. other cookies]. and i have still not introduced myself to the new girls.

conversation i just had with Smoothie:
me: ...i suck like dog piss
sm: i suck like the floor that the dog pissed on
me: i suck like the person who has to mop it up
sm: *after LONG deliberated thought* i suck like the mop the person is using
me: it took you so long to come up with that one
sm: ... i was chatting... but that's just an excuse

p.s. andrew, you wanna take care of moey? GO FOR IT.

Saturday, February 04, 2006

it doesn't work

err... i feel obliged to blog about my first few days at school. it seems to be the biggest issue going on with high school kids at the moment. so prepare yourself.

so... i arrive at school on wednesday and see this heap of people that look soooo friggin familiar to me. i try to find the word to describe why this is such, and it dawns on me that these are the people i call my friends. to be honest, some of them were a little fuzzy to me and i had to think a while before remembering their names. no shit. i'm not saying this to be funny. i seriously had to USE MY BRAIN. well, part of it anyway.

that said, i didn't give a crap about most people anyway. this is not turning out to be a happy post. sigh~ ok, let's turn it around a little. I WAS REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING MY TIMETABLE CAUSE I GOT ALL THE SUBJECTS I WANTED. IMAGINE MY - sorry, caps lock will now be turned off - imagine my absolute horror when i decided that my form class was PHYSICAL EDUCATION.

God definitely has a sense of humour.

that was not, however, horrifying enough to shadow the TOTAL MORTIFICATION i felt when i found out that two of my friends had been CHECKING MY COUSIN OUT. yucks man!! how disgusting is that? and the worst part is, they established his supposed 'cuteness' even BEFORE they knew he was my cousin.

moving on. thank God no photog with err... you know who. thank God got photog with mr. nett and sarah. mixed feelings about having moey in the same class though.
sarah: *gazing around the area* omg. moey's in our class.
kim: *half asleep, looks, sees moey's cheeky face. promptly jerks awake and face changes from pig-like trance to pure astonishment. sarah promptly cracks up*

again, God has a sense of humour.

ms. yip is THE AWESOMEST CHINESE TEACHER EVER. she can shut amy up with a few curt words spoken in her staccato malaysian accent. AMAZING. "stop giggling. it's not funny" and instantly there is peace. and she's damn funny. she was speaking to the class yesterday and suddenly, it struck me that her face and mannerisms were HILARIOUS and i cracked up. only to find that sarah beside me was half doubled over with barely contained laughter. lyndon said something totally stupid. e.g. "i'm scratching my butt." and ms. yip just shoots him this burning glare that made the temperature in the room drop fifteen degrees. i swear, lyndon's heart must've seized up and stopped and he muttered "sorry." then ms.yip goes "OK" and smiles. she's awesome.

our english teacher speaks with a drawl. it pisses us off. oh, cresbo's in my english class. he sits behind me and when i realized he was in that class, i "visibly twitched" as sarah put it. anyway, the drawl is just damn annoying. even more annoying than the way I speak when i've just woken up. [i.e. grunts and a few slurred words e.g. ngh. nedd tchoo peeeh. toassht furr beckfasht.]

some goals for the year: be more of a people person [e.g. please, kim, go introduce yourself to the new girls that hang around jess and wendy. don't be so hostile]. sometimes, i think my radiated retardedness scares people. i shall also finish all my homework. ON TIME. not only that, i will study for tests and resolve not to FALL ASLEEP while doing so. crap, that's gonna be a hard one to keep. i will no longer be a sucker for free food, nor will i take advantage of people who are willing to share their food with me. although, i might occasionally let someone pay for my meals. i will also exercise more [phys ed form class man, no joke].

oh, i forgot. i will learn to tread water [or 'float', as most people put it]. no longer shall i subject myself to the intense physical torture of dogpaddling in the diving pool [which is waaaay deeper than my legs can reach]. a commonly used analogy to describe my swimming abilities: have you ever seen a chicken swim? PRECISELY. chickens don't swim. they struggle frantically and stupidly while knowing that they will, inevitably, sink. jess describes the way i swim as "cute". i quote, "kim can't swim at all. it's so cute, cause she does her own thing and it doesn't work anyway" -_____________-

God has a WEIRD-AS sense of humour.