while watching germany play

sam: so which team does steinburger play for?
kim: who?
sam: steinburger.
kim: ... schweinsteiger?
sam: ...yeh, him.

whenever sam or myself have a test, mummy will pray for us out loud in the car (when she's dropping us off at school, or at the train station).

i laughed when she said this about Sam:

*praying praying praying* ...take away the spirit of laziness from sam, and also the spirit of dumbness.

...and it was so much fun to give sam crap about it, until recently when mum prayed for ME:

*pray pray pray pray pray* ...and help her to do really well. take away the spirit of hunger and greed from her, so that she will not worry about food during her test.

-________________-
i... have nothing to say to that.

the funny story

I said,
Tell me a funny story, please.

So he said,
There once was a boy who found a pencil.
Unfortunately, the pencil wasn't sharpened.
So he went and sharpened it.
Then with the pencil and a piece of paper, he started drawing.
His drawings were horrible at first, but as he drew more and more, they got better.
But as he got better, he also started to look for better stationery to draw with.
So he threw the old pencil away.

Then I asked,
Is there a moral to this story?

And he said,
Then the pencil came back and poked his eye out.
The end.


I loved it.

sad excuse for a post

feeling a little slack lately.
i wonder why :)


and this is Nicole, on the coming of the apocalypse...

nic: yeah. don't you know? it says so in the dictionary.
kim: *confused* ...the dictionary?
nic: OMG, NO. i meant the BIBLE.

this is what happens to my school fees

This is a classroom conversation in Physics. The class has been told to write up our Lab, which involves a bit of graphing, amongst other things.
Nicole, sitting next to me, is listening to what we say.

The teacher is, by the way, pretty cool. So it was all good.

--------------------------------------------

kim: Mr. L, is there any graph paper in this room?

MrL: *thinks* Well, Kimberley. You see, I have what is called a deficiency complex.

kim: ...O-kay. What's a deficiency complex?

MrL: A deficiency complex means I have a fear of being deficient in something. Which is strange, because we have an abundance of all things in this world, don't we.

kim: Umm... not everything.

MrL: You're right, you're right. What are some of the things where we have a deficiency?

kim: Oh, things like-

MrL: *exclaims* Abalone! (pronounced abaloney)

kim: mmm... Abalone!

Nicole: Aba-what?

kim: Abaloney.

Nicole: Babalooney?

kim: Abalon! (super Asian accent)

Nicole: OHH... abalone! Right.

MrL: What? How did you pronounce that?

kim: Oh, some people say abaloney and others say abalon so I usually just roll with whichever way the other person says it.

MrL: Oh, my wife does that too. It's very interesting. When she's speaking to Italian people, she has an Italian accent. When she speaks to German people, she has a German accent. It's FAScinating *is now lost in his own world and begins to pace away*

kim: WHAT ABOUT MY GRAPH PAPER?

MrL: *comes back* Well, the whole point of me telling you about my deficiency complex is that... There is probably some graph paper in that drawer over there, but if I give it to you, then there won't be any more of it, thus we have a deficiency, which I fear.

kim: Well, Mr. L. You see, I have this deficiency complex too. When I'm writing up my labs, I have a fear of writing too much because if I use up all my ink, what's going to happen then? *MrL has previously made comments about the brief-ness of my answers*

MrL: ...I do not encourage that particular deficiency complex of yours. It could be detrimental to your marks...

kim: And I'm not sure that your deficiency complex is particularly conducive to my learning...

MrL: Oh, alright. Let's go see what we have in the drawer.

-------------------------------------

So I got my graph paper in the end, and so did the rest of the class. Took a while to get it, but mission accomplished.


And later on...

Nicole: Kim... you're so full of shit.

the things my mother says to pwn me deserve a blog of their own

conversation between the mother, the sister, and myself.

sam:

Rick was saying tonight how Joy's never had an "ugly stage", but in the end it was established that her "ugly stage" was when she had glasses.

kim:

Rick would probably look at me and say "Kim's still going through her ugly stage."

mum:

EH, it's a compliment if people say you're still going through your ugly stage hor. You'd be in trouble if you were already out of it.

bins and porridge

my mother said to me in the car on the way home today...

IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT.
huh? what did i do?
it's all your fault that i forgot to put out the bin today.
...how is it my fault?
i don't know. but it is. now, tonight, i'm going to cook fish porridge for you-
YAY!
-but it's still all your fault.

yes, that was a random change of subject there with the fish porridge.

sore knees

i called into work this afternoon to cancel my shift for tomorrow, but there was no one in the office, and my manager wasn't in either. so i was put through to the manager for the ground floor, who knows me only as "small kim" (there's another kim who works for her downstairs, hence the adjective before my name).

this is how the conversation played out.

kim: hi, this is kimberley, from upstairs.
man: kimberley croning?
kim: err... no. kimberley chieng.

*silence*

kim: umm... you know? the small asian one?
man: OHH... yes, yes. (starts laughing).

-________________-


and if you thought I was random... you have obviously not met my physics teacher.

on circular motion:
you know, when an egg and a sperm come together, they form the first human cell. this is a giant cell which, when it divides, splits into two smaller cells within itself. and it keeps doing that until the cells are the correct size... which means you're not actually getting any bigger. okay, so when i'm spinning this thing here, the circular motion is caused by the forces i'm exerting towards the centre of rotation. interestingly, the sperm actually has to rotate the egg before fertilisation, and the rotation is also a form of circular motion...

what. the...

happy chinese new year!

no atmosphere whatsoever, but hey, it's still new years' right? you still know, deep down inside, that you just got another year older; you feel somewhat satisfied because you received angpows (and if you didn't actually get any, you know you received them in spirit); and perhaps the most telling thing... you had some sort of CNY dinner where you stuffed yourself silly and had trouble lifting your bum off the chair afterwards.

so happy chinese new year!

one year older, one year wiser
well, we've got the older part, so i'd say we're halfway there :)


train of thought...

french people are crazy. so are chinese people. actually, people in general are crazy. i mean, look at eskimoes.

in class...
me: oh, i've got an idea! i've got an idea!!
duncan: did it hurt?

peacocks and pink

an elderly lady came into the store today and was looking at the Tripp luggage. i asked her if she needed help, brimming with confidence seeing as i'd just, you know, tidied the entire section up.

she said "i've got a suitcase at home and i was wondering if you've got the hand carry in the same colour..."

"oh, what colour were you after, ma'am?"

"umm... i can't see it, so i'm not sure if you have it. it was a peacock sort of colour."

kim's brain thinks what the hell is peacock? ok, think. that one there is black, that one is maroon, and the other one is definitely a mauve-ish colour... so by process of elimination, we do NOT have peacock... whatever the hell that is...

while kim's mouth says "hmm... no, i don't think we have any of those ones in peacock anymore ma'am."

thankfully the lady buys it and went on to buy something else.


and indecision from a myer employed, anti-scancount, science student...

† [penguinnyfinfin ```p53k] says:
kimmyting

† [penguinnyfinfin ```p53k] says:
when's your birthday dear

kim says:
my birthday... is.... err... in a few months

† [penguinnyfinfin ```p53k] says:
april isn't it

† [penguinnyfinfin ```p53k] says:
NONOn

† [penguinnyfinfin ```p53k] says:
NONO

† [penguinnyfinfin ```p53k] says:
october

† [penguinnyfinfin ```p53k] says:
NONO

† [penguinnyfinfin ```p53k] says:
...........

† [penguinnyfinfin ```p53k] says:
june

† [penguinnyfinfin ```p53k] says:
NONO

† [penguinnyfinfin ```p53k] says:
it's april!


he got it right the first time.

bananas and ladders

being the most accident prone person that you are ever likely to bump into (literally), i'd used up most of our band-aids at home. so i went to the pharmacy before work this morning to pick some up in case of emergency (e.g. in the event that i accidentally cut my left foot off. God forbid -_-).

however, GENIUS that i am, i left my wallet at home.

this was not only very embarrassing when the lady at the pharmacy gave me this aww-you-poor-little-idiot look, but also horrible because it meant i couldn't get lunch, and i hadn't had breakfast.

i was reminded of this sad fact when i finally did get my lunch break, and my workmate jumped around in front of me going "subway? foot long? *hand actions*". all i could say was "no... *sad look* left my wallet at home", to which he gallantly replies "hey, no problem", brandishing a red twenty in front of me.

but seeing as i'd only known the guy for ten days, i shook my head and settled with bananas for lunch. thank God i brought two. not quite enough, but not too bad.


in other news, i took a ladder to the head today.
sigh.
i was just standing there.
in front of a ladder leaned against the wall.
then it suddenly tipped forward, and hit me on the head.
painful.

guy: you should report it.
kim: why?
guy: dunno. you can get like, medical fees if you need them.
kim: it's just a bump.
guy: hey, who knows. you might need to amputate your head.


sigh, i don't wanna go to work tomorrow.

our future leaders...

i had two feet worth of Subway within 24 hours last week during my meal breaks at work.

my mother was not happy.

however, my workmate told me a very funny story about his experience with Subway.

him: hi, can i have a blablabla please.
subgirl: sure. do you want a 6-inch or foot long.
him: 12 inch please.
subgirl: sorry sir, we only have 6-inch and foot long.

-________________-

there's obviously something wrong with our education system.

on pounds and ladders

i was having a chat with a very dear friend of mine over MSN just then. we haven't seen each other in years, but we're still pretty good friends. the first thing he says to me today is...

"kim, i'm overweight."

he's always been a little bit on the chubby side, but he's chubby cute, you see. the conversation then plays out...

him: i weighed myself just now... i'm 113... kg, not pounds. i didn't realize i put on so much weight.
me: really. where do you put it all?
him: in a backpack.
me: *ignores* how much are you usually tho?
him: around 90-105 kg like that. (he's not short la!)
me: well... if it makes you feel better, i'm about 105-110.
him: pounds.
me: uh huh.
him: really meh?
me: what, you don't believe ah.
him: ...not really. you so light meh?
me: -______- 105 is about 48, 110 is about 50.
him: yeah. very light wad.
me: (suddenly thought of something) does it help if i tell you that i'm only 160cm tall?
him: oh. OHH. ahhh.... now i see...


man, i really love talking to people like this XD.
*not being sarcastic. really.*


work today was not a particularly fulfilling affair. i was left by myself for a few hours in a department i had no clue about... and then i received instructions via a piece of paper, telling me to get a big ladder and move stuff around.

so i climbed up and down a ladder that was taller than me several times, to remove hampers that were really rather big, from a shelf that was really rather high. managed to cut myself in the process (don't ask me how).

the ladder is weird. it's one of those clever designs with legs that are shorter than the wheels so that you can roll the ladder around. once you put weight on it tho (i.e. climb it), the springs depress and the legs touch the ground at the same level as the wheels so the ladder becomes stable.

basically, the ladder is shaky, but will become safe and steady once you start climbing and put your weight on it.

yeah right.

it's obviously designed for sumo wrestlers.

become stable my ass.

am suddenly feeling very tired and sleepy...
and strangely paranoid.
it's weird.

had a rather amusing conversation with sharon while we were walking today...
shar: you know, my mum said "i don't understand how kim can work and still do well at school."
me: hmmgh?
shar: yeah, she said she doesn't know how you can have a job and still study.
me: don't... really... study.
shar: then i told her that you seem sleepy in school sometimes, and she said "yeah, maybe... i saw her on friday and she looks very weak, and tired, and skinny. very weak ah!"

XD
that made me laugh for a while.


we were going through our poetry units in English today and i was reminded of a few poems that i actually really like.
that doesn't mean i understand them very well. in fact, my interpretation usually does the poet no justice. like how one poet made a brilliant statement on marriage using a lion eating it's keeper as an extended metaphor (The Lion's Bride, Gwen Harwood).
i took it literally.

(here comes the potentially boring part)
...proof that poetry isn't all lovey dovey sonnets written in a way that you're sometimes not sure if it's even in english...

Doctor to Patient Bruce Dawe

Please sit down. I'm afraid I have some
rather bad news for you: you are now seventeen
and you have contracted an occupational disease called
unemployment. Like others similarly afflicted
you will experience feelings of
shock, disbelief, injustice, guilt, apathy, and aggression.
(although not necessarily in that order)
and you'll no doubt be urged to try the various
recommended anodynes: editorials in newspapers,
voluntary unpaid work for local charities, booze,
other compulsive mind-destroyers, prayer, comforting
talks with increasingly less-interested friends.
It is small comfort to know that the disease
is universal and can accommodate
the middle-aged and thirtyish and strikes down
those in camps in Kompong Sam and Warsaw.
However you will discover, as time passes,
that your presence in itself will make others
obviously uncomfortable. Try not to let
your shadow, at this stage,
fall across your neighbour's plate; eat
with the right hand only; do not touch
others in public (this can be easily
misconstrued); keep always
down-wind, if possible. Please remember
you have now become our common vulnerability
personified. Oh yes. and, by the way,
you will be relieved to know the disease
is only in a minority of cases terminal.

Most, that is, survive. Next, please.

moey tells me to become a blogging machine.
this is usually a cue for the words to rush out from the depths of my mind, tripping over themselves to channel positive chi into my fingertips as they perform a rabid dance across the keyboard.

...
or not.


i finally figured out why i haven't been able to sleep during the first half of last week.

daylight savings.

that fleeting inability to adjust just makes me feel so... horribly... old.


it's okay tho.
been sleeping like a baby since thursday, and haven't been doing ANY work either, so the stress levels are currently under a somewhat unhealthy mode of repression.


so sarah says i have a disorder.
in her own words...

man, i'd really do psychology just for you.

you're weird.
and i really mean that.

people sometimes don't believe me when i say i'm weird. they think it's just one of those things people say because they're feeling a little embarrassed.
but when i say it, i'm usually not lying.


school in less than 9 hours.
what fun.

the latest from the mother

*looking at sam*
"you know, sometimes i feel like i don't know you."
*turns to me*
"and sometimes i feel like i don't want to know you."

steggles

a draft of the exam timetable came out today.
most people are happy with it.
i hate it.
but not because it's bad or anything.
i just hate anything exam related.
especially anything that reminds me i have exams at all.
my G&T paper is on the last friday.
that's crap.
but good in a way because i get more time to cram.
mmngh.

the linkin park concert is tomorrow night.
but i'm so tired.
the idea of being on my feet for a few hours with masses of people - most taller than me - invading my personal space just... doesn't appeal.
and i don't know the words to half their new songs.
still, it's linkin park.
bound to be good XD.

nic: kim... how do you pronounce "decades"? cause i keep saying "dickheads".

dk: i want to be a businessman. or something with a "-man" at the end. sounds cool.
me: yeah, policeman, fireman...
dk: ...spiderman, batman..

how did tristan's hair get longer when the captain was cutting it shorter?

watched Stardust with the sister and the cousins yesterday.

it was funny, sweet, surprising, surreal...

altogether very nicely done, but still lacking the magic of Gaiman's storytelling.

i thought the cast was pretty good... and i will never, ever be able to look at Robert de Niro in the same way EVER again. michelle pfeiffer gave me goosebumps - her evilness! not HER her!!

it didn't follow the book exactly; elaborated more on some points and totally discarded others. but they didn't screw it up, and the ending was sweet but not terribly corny. i think i still prefer the book, but the movie was really not bad at all.



i was so bored, i joined Facebook.
crap.


HY: be wary of any sentence that involves "you" and "feel"
me: what about "how do you feel" when someone is sick?
HY: actually, i think it's only when "feel" comes before "you".

*pause*

HY: especially "i feel you"

bahahahahahahaha. i just found that incredibly funny.

there is a sandwich in glad wrap sitting on the monitor

i decided to take some notes today for my photography task which has been temporarily put on hold (for two months) due to lack of inspiration.
read: i was lazy, so didn't do work. now in danger of not completing the course.

imagine my shock and horror when i realized that i'm actually using physics and g&t to understand all the stuff wikipedia is desperately trying to channel into my brain.
i thought photography was my relaxing subject.
i have obviously been grossly misled somewhere in between.

it is, however, nice to know that i remember enough physics and maths to work out what all that technical stuff means. *puffs in pride*cue cheesy smile*iamsuchanerd*


my life currently consists of the pockets of time where i am not otherwise engaged in a televised (and subtitled) representation of life.

note: representation.

because how often do you see a love octagon?
only in kdramas.


kdramas aside, i also had a long, long chat with a friend on the phone today, and out of the blue, she said:

kim, you're gonna grow up and have lots of problems.

i felt so reassured knowing that i have friends honest enough to tell me that i'm going to be dysfunctional forever. ahh... life is good...

...even for sam, who totally got OWNED by mum today.
and mum doesn't even know what owned means.

sam was lying on mum's bed today when mum walks in and sees her. mum turns to me, and proves once again that she is the funniest one in the family.

"look. there's a freaky thing on my bed."

you should've seen us trying to stop laughing.

a chicken on the monitor

i'm not blogging because i don't like this keyboard.
yes, this is stupid, i know. but i just don't like it.

a friend and i were talking about going to tafe.
me: mm.. i'm going to tafe next year.
him: YEAH, i SO believe you. that doesn't work on me.
me: why not? i wanna become a plumber.
him: haha. yeah, plumber my toilet.

*pause*

him: but if you go to the tafe, i will smack you. hard.

how lovely.

then...
me: why? what's wrong with tafe?
him: sounds like tape. GAY.

SUPREME reasoning.
from the same guy who came up with the fantastic TEE strategy.