on toilets

kim and sam, coming out of the first malaysian public toilet encountered in five years...

*look of awe* it was a squatting one!!!
man, i couldn't remember how to use it.
did you face the wall or the door?
i almost didn't know what to do.
did you flush?
i don't want to bring these slippers back to perth.

hey, they're not really as tall as they look

Mel was asking how tall Jessica Alba is, so I googled it.

This is the first thing that made me smile.

Angelina Jolie: 5ft 7in
Paris Hilton: 5ft 7.25in
Carmen Electra: 5ft 2.5in
Britney Spears: 5ft 4.5in
Lindsay Lohan: 5ft 5in
Mariah Carey: 5ft 8in
Hillary Duff: 5ft 1.5in
Jennifer Aniston: 5ft 4.75in
Jessica Simpson: 5ft 2.5in
Keira Knightly: 5ft 7in
Shakira: 5ft 0in
Pamela Anderson: 5ft 6in

HELL YEAH!!

I'm 5'3", by the way.

And this is the second thing that made me smile.

Mel says:
"OMG. I'M TALLER THAN SHAKIRA. OH YEAH!"

We both cracked up.


In other news, mom and I were talking about dogs today and... well...

kim: Hush Puppies are Basset Hounds right? Not Beagles.
mum: Yeah. Hush Puppies have longer ears than Beagles.
kim: And they're not as tall. Basset Hounds are sorta... Daschund shaped.
mum: Yeah. Like luncheon meat...
kim: umm... you mean, like SAUSAGE dog?


Happy days, mate.

you are wonderful. ish.

You know what we as Christians need to do stop doing so much?

We need to stop throwing around the phrase "but God made you this way on purpose".

When someone is crying over how weird-looking they are, or how stupid they are, or how useless they are, a lot of us like to say "you were wonderfully and beautifully made by God, just the way he wanted". Yeah, okay. I get that. So you're telling me that God made me fat on purpose. (And if they actually say that, please try to resist saying "no, that was the 300 donuts you've had in the last 12 months.")

It becomes an excuse, and frankly, say it enough and it loses all meaning. And it's bad too, because guess what? People will take it the wrong way.

They'll end up hating God.

Because somehow, "God wants you to be ugly" just ain't very comforting.



[edit] 4thMay2008, 7.29 p.m.
I don't think I wrote this post very well. Trying to be politically correct backfires when you end up making hugely ambiguous statements. Most people completely missed the point I was trying to make, but that's alright because it actually came up in the discussion in the comments box.
Yes, this post was a criticism, but I wasn't criticising God. We can't blame God for everything in our lives that doesn't go our way. We tend to attribute good things to God, but He isn't a thunder-stealer. In the same way, He isn't a scapegoat.
Mellymel and I thought of a very true, but very mean illustration that we shan't share on a public domain like this. But yeah, read the comments.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

i'm dreaming of a white Christmas...

no, really.
40.3 degrees is ridiculous.

i will post a little more tomorrow.
right now, i need to sleep.

merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

for the next many few days, if i refuse to go out with you or do not answer your calls, just assume that i am working.

either that or i'm sleeping.

the lamp glows green

general consensus is that the physics exam was so sh*t crazy hard that...

we'll probably all get scaled.

172 marks in 150 minutes over 33 pages.

they're trying to kill us, i swear.


what kim, jane and rick had for lunch:

spicy beef rolls served with sauteed egg and leafy greens over poached noodles lightly tossed in brown sauce, courtesy of the culinary prowess of rick and kim.

translation:
sausage, fried egg and limpy lettuce with mi goreng.
kim made the mi goreng, rick made the rest.

we seriously need to go to TAFE.

kim is very the don't want to do the exam

kim is very the don't understand what the crap is going on in physics.

kim is very the strangely calm about this at the currentness of this moment.

kim is very the sure that tomorrow is not going to be a happy day.

kim is very the hoping that the exam tomorrow will be super the easy.

kim is very the annoying when she types like this.

kim is going to sleep.

the things i resort to doing in an effort to avoid studying are truly amazing.

yesterday, i spent at least an hour folding laundry (yes, we have a lot of unfolded laundry).

and i did the dishes voluntarily.

then i sat down and watched Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (the original) on TV for a while.

getting up at 11 in the morning meant half my day was gone already.

and i only had two meals yesterday.
that's less than half what i usually eat.

but... it's okay.

plenty of time to stress tonight.

not.

luvluvs and byebyes

school starts tomorrow.

...

helpless, breathless, speechless.
powerless.

the escalators were not working

...so i had to climb the stairs to get to work.

i got a headache from it.

shut up. i know it's pathetic.

the headache has gotten progressively worse over the last 5 hours.

ngh.

shine on me

we are crooked souls trying to stay up straight
dry eyes in the pouring rain
the shadow proves the sunshine
the shadow proves the sunshine
two scared little runaways
hold fast to the brink of daylight
the shadow proves the sunshine
the shadow proves the sunshine

the shadow proves the sunshine switchfoot

i need to learn how to cook. seriously.

i'm so bad at cooking that i can't even make simple pasta.

we're not talking about making pasta and sauce, it's just the pasta cooking. as in, just the noodles.

two out of two times in the last week, i have failed at it. the first time, i kept adding more because i was so paranoid that i hadn't cooked enough. i ended up with a lot leftover. this time, it was undercooked and i only cooked enough for half a person (don't ask).

i can't even make mi goreng without causing a potentially dangerous situation. ok, who am i kidding, i caused a semi-crisis. don't ask me how, but i managed to set some aluminium foil on fire.

it burns a very cheery orange.

almost hypnotic, really.


on a totally different, not even tangentially related, note, my friend has a theory that all girls are bisexual.

a lot of the guys agreed.

some of the girls did too.

the weird thing was, nobody disagreed.


[edit] holidays have started and i'm really loving this sleeping in on mondays thing. ahh... three mondays of waking up late. what more could i wish for?... at this particular moment.

blossom, bubbles, and buttercup

i was working today and some customer really pissed me off. i don't even remember what she did, but i remember getting really annoyed.

then i felt bad, and decided that i should probably ask God for forgiveness.

so i closed my eyes, and prayed...

"dear Lord, please forgive me for getting angry with these STUPID PEOPLE!!!"

...which, i realize, sorta defeats the purpose of asking for forgiveness in the first place.

a chicken on the monitor

i'm not blogging because i don't like this keyboard.
yes, this is stupid, i know. but i just don't like it.

a friend and i were talking about going to tafe.
me: mm.. i'm going to tafe next year.
him: YEAH, i SO believe you. that doesn't work on me.
me: why not? i wanna become a plumber.
him: haha. yeah, plumber my toilet.

*pause*

him: but if you go to the tafe, i will smack you. hard.

how lovely.

then...
me: why? what's wrong with tafe?
him: sounds like tape. GAY.

SUPREME reasoning.
from the same guy who came up with the fantastic TEE strategy.

more boring than being kung-fued by a monkey

jase told me to try this.
the Death Predictor.

this is mine...

kim: At age 26 you will go down in a small raft, in your friend's pool, and subsequently drown.

this is very disturbing.
1) according to this, i have ten years left.
2) i am going to be in a small raft in a pool.
3) i can't actually swim -_-

raw noses

i was so so happy that i didn't get sick this winter. so so happy.
and in the last week of the season, God decides to play a cruel joke and give me a cold.
a large part of my bodily fluids are currently leaking out through my nose.


and the latest in fast food chains: KFE, Kentucky Fried Elephant.

i'm still here

saw this on ching you's blog, as well as rick's and SOMEONE made me give it a go.

the rules were:

1. put your music player on shuffle.
2. for each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!!!

here goes...

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
Boulevard of Broken Dreams

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Grace

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Beautiful Saviour

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
SOS

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Beautiful

it ends with naming the title of this post with the song that came on.

hmm.. i didn't know i was a beautiful saviour to my parents...
and my wedding is obviously going to be a happy one...

try it out, guys!

a hungry kim is an irritable kim.

26 hours without food.
14 to go.

i wasn't going to go to metros.

but they bought a ticket for me.

they forged a letter of consent, and put in money for a ticket.

20 bucks to drink coke out of plastic cups and make weird body movements to music we can download for free.

we go home before the real clubbers even start.

i better get my laptop back.

the threat

"you're not getting your laptop back unless you go to Metros."

-________-