comfort?

smile :)

please?

if i could have anything from the genetic pool of my ancestors family, it would be my mother's strength, and her mother's wisdom.

oversensitivy is a royal bitching pain in the you know where.

welcome to the rest of my life

i just read tim's post on, err, life. and

"Wake up early, work, come home, eat, sleep
next day *insert repeat*"

sums up my life right now. to a tee.

i worked pretty much everyday (sundays included) during the lead-up to Christmas, and have been doing 6 days a week since then. today is my first proper day off (i.e. not factoring in days when the store isn't open) since the 22nd of last month.


i was reflecting on this last week when i had a disturbing thought.

this is what the rest of my life is going to be like.

it was a revelation, and i'm sure i would have felt slightly afraid had i not been so sleepy at the time.


because you don't know where life is going to take you; you don't know whether you'll ever finish high school, whether you'll get a degree, whether you'll ever learn to swim, to play the piano, to anti-differentiate reciprocal functions... whether you'll even be around to catch the next episode of That 70's Show on TV.

the possibilities are countless. our chances? slim.

nobody knows for sure what's going to happen next, all we can do is hope for the best.

finish high school with respectable TER, graduate with professional degree, get job with good salary (preferably with benefits), become CEO at 29, retire at 39, live rest of life on Island of Bob.

but what if hoping for that best is precisely what leads to the wake up, work, come home, eat, sleep, aaaaaaaand repeat kind of life?

nobody wants to get stuck in that trap.

like rickthewise said, it'd totally make a difference if you were working a job you loved.

"like those people who suffer for their art, but are really happy."
supposedly.

but you won't know what it's like until you try it out. then you might realise that the last 4 years and $20000 bucks of your life was wasted on a degree that got you a job that would never be fulfilling.

a job that rendered you lifeless.


so you know what?

i'm not gonna define life either.

and i'm going to agree with tim (for once) when i say that it's in the little things.
it's the in between stuff that makes us smile.

try
wake up, breakfast, work, help someone, mess around a little, come home, play, dinner, movie, ice cream, yum...

because it's not what you're given.
it's what you make of it.

peacocks and pink

an elderly lady came into the store today and was looking at the Tripp luggage. i asked her if she needed help, brimming with confidence seeing as i'd just, you know, tidied the entire section up.

she said "i've got a suitcase at home and i was wondering if you've got the hand carry in the same colour..."

"oh, what colour were you after, ma'am?"

"umm... i can't see it, so i'm not sure if you have it. it was a peacock sort of colour."

kim's brain thinks what the hell is peacock? ok, think. that one there is black, that one is maroon, and the other one is definitely a mauve-ish colour... so by process of elimination, we do NOT have peacock... whatever the hell that is...

while kim's mouth says "hmm... no, i don't think we have any of those ones in peacock anymore ma'am."

thankfully the lady buys it and went on to buy something else.


and indecision from a myer employed, anti-scancount, science student...

† [penguinnyfinfin ```p53k] says:
kimmyting

† [penguinnyfinfin ```p53k] says:
when's your birthday dear

kim says:
my birthday... is.... err... in a few months

† [penguinnyfinfin ```p53k] says:
april isn't it

† [penguinnyfinfin ```p53k] says:
NONOn

† [penguinnyfinfin ```p53k] says:
NONO

† [penguinnyfinfin ```p53k] says:
october

† [penguinnyfinfin ```p53k] says:
NONO

† [penguinnyfinfin ```p53k] says:
...........

† [penguinnyfinfin ```p53k] says:
june

† [penguinnyfinfin ```p53k] says:
NONO

† [penguinnyfinfin ```p53k] says:
it's april!


he got it right the first time.

when i'm not spending my time annoying people by asking them if they require assistance in mauling the blender boxes, or dodging receipt rolls serving as canons in the War between Virgin music and Small Appliances, or making up price stickers for Vidal Sassoon hairdryers, Meng Han, and Messaoud ($79.95, $50.00, and $2.00 respectively)...

i am watching movies.

been doing a bit of a catchup on the movies that i've been meaning to watch for a while, courtesy of Video Ezy ($1.95 rentals Mon-Thurs; $2.95 for new releases).
yeah, my life alternates between work and watching DVDs at home.

so just quickly...

Jason Bourne is one of the coolest action heroes EVER (it's probably between him and Det. John McClane). i am gushing. Bruce Willis has that whole "i don't give a shit"cool factor going for him, but Matt Damon is amazingly clever and resourceful despite being constantly on the run. he fights with pens, with books, tricks people with fans... i loved it.

it's better than twelve, not as smooth as eleven, but it's as witty as any. the little one liners are enough to keep you amused, and the plan complex enough to keep you entertained throughout the movie.

that and Linus's nose, of course.

been wanting to watch this one for a while, and finally got to it. it's about racial discrimination, and almost every character is played by a famous actor/actress. i think the idea of the movie was that all the things you do, all the people you meet, will eventually crash together with - presumably - some sort of tragic result.

it doesn't quite hit home, but there ARE some ironies in it that leave you things to think about... and the film is mostly just heartbreakingly honest about human relationships in a racially diverse world.

a film from Danny Boyle, this is about a crew of 8 who are on a mission to save the dying sun. they run into problems on the way - rather cliched ones too - but it's all done brilliantly, and doesn't get old or lame.

sci-fi isn't usually my thing, but this film was actually really good. it sorta morphed from clever science and impressive CGI to mindless bloody action with a twist of horror about three quarters of the way through... but i still really liked the ending.


and for something totally different...


we watched Enchanted at the movies, and i had a stupid smile plastered on my face the whole way. it's one of those ridiculously feel good movies with a soundtrack that gets stuck in your head for the rest of the day.
it's very sweet though... even if the formula gets a bit old.

the cinema was PACKED with children. little children. most under the age of 12. they liked to laugh loudly.

typical kids' movie that brought us back quite a few years with the song "witch doctor" (ooh ee ooh ah ah, ting tang walla walla bing bang!!). the chipmunks are so cute... especially Theodore, the little fat one.

i think i have an affinity for little fat things.

i'll have to write up a movie list, otherwise i'll never watch everything i want to.

so continues my lifelessness.

because you DEMANDED it

happy belated birthday tim.

all the best.
really.
yeah, i'm nice sometimes. can?

today was the day of the pissy customers

first up, i made a mistake. i won't deny it.
i screwed up one bit.
details are a bit much to spit out, but... yeah.

anyway, i went out back to look for something for my pissed off customer, praying damn hard we had it cause he was SO ANGRY.

we didn't have what he wanted.

...and i knew i was so screwed.

i ran into jason and yolanda (workmates) on the way out, and we had the saddest conversation.

J: (to me) did you find your thing?
K: no. i didn't... i'm so screwed aye.
J: yeah. he's really angry.
K: i don't wanna go back out there. i really don't.
Y: you wanna swap? this woman... i've been with her for an hour, and she can't even speak english properly.
K: really? (super hopeful) swap?
J: nah man. her dude is really angry. even i wouldn't swap with her.
Y: seriously, i've been with her for so long.. she asked for a manager, so Jemma pretended to be my manager and told her we can't do that. but she's still... ugh.
J: yeah, but you really don't want to take that guy.
K: yeah, i can't do that to you. he's... ohcrap. i'm so dead.
J: ok, ok guys. *does the hand pile up thing* all for one?
ALL: and one for all.
J: let's do this.

then we walked out together, and faced hell.

i saw Yolanda's customer and ok, her english sucked, and her face was set in a permanent grimace. not fun. and she started scolding Yo even before she'd gotten within speaking distance.

but my guy definitely took the cake.
there was a point where everyone nearby just stopped and stared at us.

by the end of it i felt totally defeated. i stood there all while he was complaining to my manager (half of it was about me), just so i could apologize to him properly. and he didn't freaking give a shit.

forget anger.
forget embarrassment.

i just wanted to cry.

to 2008

i am not in a reflective mood.

but the past year has gone by so quickly that i feel as if i need to force myself to remember it, or risk losing it entirely.

so here we go.

year 11 was not the insanely difficult year that so many people made it out to be. or maybe i say that only in retrospect. i remember telling myself at the start of the year that i would work hard and stay on top of things.


i failed. miserably.

the stress was, at times, hair-pulling crazy; but by grace, i somehow pulled through with a bunch of As, and 99% attendance.


i don't know where the 1% went -_-


i also lost the job i'd had for two years.
i hadn't realised that i'd been working there for so long.
long enough to see the people come and go, have kids, get sick, get better, grow up, grow old, die.

i even miss mopping the floor there sometimes.

but i got another job, and even though at this point it may or may not be permanent, it's keeping me occupied and earning me pocket money that i don't really have time to spend.

but when i do spend, i spend a lot of it ><. it doesn't help that i now work in a deparmental store that's generally pricier than the average Target or Kmart. and then there are the people - the things we did, the things we said, how we feel about each other. i've made new friends, become closer to some, drifted apart from a few, been reacquainted with others.
i love just hanging out and doing normal stuff together; i don't need to go out and do something special. it's the everyday things that make me smile.

it's not the parties or the outings we had together that i remember most. it's the little moments we had that stick out in my mind - like that time us girls sat together on that bench under that tree, and just made fun of each other.
ok, so we mostly made fun of karina.

special mention to G&T class, which was ALWAYS a pleasure to go to. always. i love talking crap and messing around with you guys.
yes, even though we look hell stupid.

i think william got shat on by crows the most this year. if not the most, then definitely the worst (hair, all across the shirt, hands).

we give each other shit sometimes, but for the most part, we just take the shit out of each other.

and all the games, jokes, food, food and food...
i think most of my spending went to food.

barbecuing in the rain may have been a tad optimistic, but we still got our food in the end.

and how could we ever forget three certain someones who crouched behind a rock in the cold for hours... just to be able to say "BOO. did we scare you?".

it's really in the little things...

lining up frozen and hungry in the rain.
playing cards till the wee hours of the morning.
deep and meaningfuls that were really quite scary.
building miniature fences with little sticks...
...then arguing about whose nut-head is bigger.
slacking off in the rainbow room.
sharing biscuits and bananas and muesli bars in intro calc.
sunshine, rainbows, butterflies.
and tears.
scars.
laughter.
smile.
along with scores of other things.


this year, i make no resolutions.
i make no promises.
i'll take it as it comes, because that's the only way you can.

live, life, love.


so here's to 2008,



let's make the most of now.

the most stupid thing i've done in a while

...after trying to close a ladder while standing underneath it.

went to watch I Am Legend, Beowulf and 1408 on friday night/saturday morning.
20 bucks for three movies was worth it, even if it did mean i didn't get to sleep the entire night.

kinda a dumb thing to do when you have to work at 7 o'clock the next morning tho.

anyway, moving on.

i thought this was a pretty good movie. we missed a bit of the start though, and i think that might have been rather important, but nevermind.

a virus that was supposed to be a cure for cancer ends up turning people into hairless blood-sucking creatures allergic to UV. (they never actually said "vampires" in the movie, but it sounds familiar, no?)

Will Smith is brilliant as Dr. Robert Neville, a scientist working to find a cure for this virus who is, as far as he knows, the last man on earth. with only his german shepherd - Samantha - and a bunch of mannequins at a video store for company, Neville struggles not only with finding a cure for the virus, but with his own frustrations and loneliness.

ok, there are obviously some plot holes, but it's generally a very entertaining movie; not too fast paced, funny, intense, and at times, rather heartbreaking. the shots of a jungle-esque Manhattan are really nice too.

but don't think. just don't think while you're watching the movie. don't ask why. just watch. and enjoy.

typical heroic ending tho, and thanks to a certain ABC i was spoiled about an hour before i went to watch it.
SPOILER: "he kamikaze-ed his ass". end of spoiler.

but you are reminded once again of just how fantastic an actor Will Smith is. what the movie lacks in plot and coherence, he makes up for in character. he makes an otherwise ordinary monster-filled action flick worth watching, especially if you haven't read the book (which i haven't).



this was interesting.

it's based on an old scandinavian tale about a man who kills a monster and becomes a king.
apparently.
i'm not really sure. i'm just regurgitating what my friend told me.

it's an animated flick, but ohmygoodness everything looks so real. everything. even angelina jolie looks real, albeit a little waxy. you get a few odd moments where you sorta think "real people don't quite scratch their backs like THAT", but otherwise, the animators did a great job (and the scenery is fantastic).

i quite liked it, but Beowulf (the character, played by Ray Winstone)... man, that guy has a seriously huge ego. Oedipus complex to the max. he's got an annoying "I am Beowulf, hear me roar" thing going on.
unlike I Am Legend, if you actually stop to think for a while, you realise that Beowulf is as much about human nature as it is about killing monsters. it explores particularly how vulnerable people are to greed and power... and also how useless men are in the face of angelina jolie.
it feels a little like the producers concentrated more on the animation than the characters, but there is a storyline that holds its own very well. and i think the only reason i liked it was because of that storyline. it's very english lit.

the only thing i sorta regret about this movie is that i didn't see it in 3D.

and beowulf needs to stuff a sock in it.
although to be fair, he does become a "changed man" towards the end of the movie.


the most unsatisfying of the three movies - and not just because it came after two good ones.
maybe a little bit because i was sleepy.

credit needs to be given to the first half tho, which was actually pretty good because it really was creepy and scary (that clock radio is the most disturbing unanimated object i have seen in a while).
it's creepy more because of the way it messes with the mind than with straight out horror. john cusack is good at the whole acting thing - one minute sceptical, the next totally freaked out; going crazy one moment, completely relieved the next.

it would have been a good movie had the vibe of first hour been kept up throughout. unfortunately, halfway through, it just gets stupid. it's as if the writers ran out of material, and just decided to pad it up with half-arsed scares. and the whole pretend-he-gets-out-when-he-really-doesn't-haha-ilaughatyou thing doesn't really work. everything after that point feels draggy and becomes a chore.

it was a little like I Am Legend in that one man show way, and John Cusack, to his credit, does really well. but the whole thing becomes sort of a joke to me after the first hour.

not bad if you want to be disturbed. but totally forgettable.


working a ten hour shift after a movie marathon takes it's toll, and i slept 14 hours straight from 7 o'clock last night. it was an accident. mom tried to wake me up around ten, apparently, but i didn't even stir. that sofabed can be pretty comfortable.

we haven't moved them yet.